It’s supposed to be all smiles and joy after having a new baby, especially with your first. From my experience, though, having a child is just down right hard. The smiles DO make it all worth it but in between the smiles there are a few things I realized no one could prepare me for…
1. Anxiety. I never thought I was an anxious person by nature but my anxiety has seemed to increase 10 fold since having a baby. I worry about her mostly and that I might miss something that could potentially hurt her. It’s a lot of responsibility and it just feels very overwhelming. You also have 23925623987847 million hormones running through your body and I’m sure that adds to the anxiety. In reality though, babies are resilient. If they get fed, sleep and are changed they are generally happy. In the same breath, babies can just be fussy too and I truly believe God knows what you can handle. Just know this too shall pass. Enjoy the good days and try as gracefully as you can to get through the bad ones.
2. Breastfeeding is stressful. We took a pre-natal class which covered breastfeeding and some of the fundamentals. There were dolls. We literally practiced holding the dolls to our chest correctly. Yea, it’s NOT like that. Babies can have trouble latching, their fussy and squirmy, you get a clogged milk duct and have to have surgery and a drain inserted in your chest 4 weeks after giving birth. Your production is low, your flow is slow, you overproduce, one side produces more than the other, you feed your baby for over an hour and she’s fussy 20 minutes later. Breastfeeding is stressful! I’m so thankful for the 12 weeks I had to figure it out and FINALLY I feel like I’ve turned a corner and got my babies needs mostly figured out…until the next growth spurt.
3. Sleep Deprivation is a monster. People tried to tell me I would feel like a walking zombie for a solid 2 months and I would nod and say, “OK, I get it.” I felt like I mentally prepared for it…but the reality of it was much different. I guess there’s no real way to prepare anyone for sleep deprivation, just know it’s real and it’s going to happen. SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS is a saying that’s so much easier said than done, especially given reason #1 of this list (my heightened anxiety), but it’s the only way you can function. You are no good to your baby if you are tired so let others help you and sleep when you can!
4. Plan on it taking 2 hours to leave the house. Car seat, diaper bag, extra clothes, food, stroller, nursing cover, sanitary wipes…BABY. These are just a few of the things you need to have with you every time you leave the house. Even if you’re just running to the mall you never know when that up the back, out the side of the legs blowout could happen right?! I felt like it took me an hour to get myself ready and an hour to then get the baby packed and it seemed like it never failed, as soon as we were ready to go she would spit up, poop or cry. Just be ready for it and try not to get frazzled. Car rides helped calm my little one so just getting her in the car was my main goal.
5. It’s not about me anymore. I remember a few days after having Lucy I was sitting in a rocker staring at her as she nursed. I just remember having the distinct impression, “it’s not about you anymore.” That feeling has stayed with me as I do things to make her life easier. As time goes by, I’m reminded constantly that her little life is the most important thing right now and probably always will be. As I said in yesterday’s post, this has been a very humbling experience. But it’s that responsibility of raising her and being in charge of her well being that also brings me the most joy. Later in her life it will come in the form of seeing her become a contributing member of society, succeeding at school, in her professions, and in life in general. It mostly comes right now in the form of smiles and giggles. And I’ll take it.