The Cultural Hall

I wasn’t able to attend John Dehlin’s Sunstone workshop in Salt Lake this year, but when he offered to provide the audio I took the opportunity to see what I missed. They covered a lot of information that is worth hearing, and if you haven’t listened yet I think it’d be worth your time.

Since I’ve read and heard most of Dehlin’s work before, it was most helpful for me to hear people talking candidly and quite happily about the challenges facing unorthodox Mormons. I know we can read an endless stream of blog entries about just such topics, and I do, but it somehow seems less real to me out here on the internet where we can hide behind our keyboards and screen names. Maybe one day I’ll be secure enough in my confusion to attend a Sunstone workshop in person, but until then it is comforting to know that at least some of you already can.

John also played a couple of songs during his presentation, reminding me how much music has helped me understand my own meandering journey from orthodoxy. Feeling inspired by his musical interludes, I decided to share one song that I suspect a lot of us can relate to. Hope you enjoy it.

For the Best
by Straylight Run
[» You can listen to the song here.]

And it takes more time than I’ve ever had,
drains the life from me, makes me want to forget.
As young as I was, I felt older back then,
more disciplined, stronger and certain.
But I was scared to death of eternity.
I was saved by grace, but destroyed by naivety.
And I lied to myself and said it was for the best.

And now faith is replaced with a logic so cold,
I’ve disregarded what I was now that I’m older.
And I know much more than I did back then,
but the more I learn, the more I can’t understand.
And I’ve become content with this life that I lead,
where I think* too much and don’t believe in much of anything.
And I lie to myself, and say it’s for the best.

We’re moving forward but holding ourselves back,
and we’re waiting on something that will never come.
(And I lie to myself, and say it’s for the best)

* I changed the lyric from “drink too much,” which I don’t, to “think too much,” which I certainly do. If you’re drunk while reading this perhaps you’ll want to sing the original lyric…