Well, it happened. I got the call from Richie inviting me to be a host for the Cultural Hall. Can you believe that? I’m not sure I believe it myself. I’d made some off-handed comment to him months ago about wanting to fill Brittney’s place when she was considering taking off to hang lovely hibiscus embroidered tapestries with her not boyfriend/boyfriend in Hawaii, but really I was just joking. I’d only meant it to be a compliment on just how much I enjoyed his show and listening to everyone banter back and forth.
Seems Richie didn’t mind if I actually did join in the fun, because not long after, he surprised me with an invitation to write The Cultural Hall’s “Tales of a Mormon Housewife” blog. Even if no one other than my parents enjoys reading the random stories about my life, I actually have enjoyed writing them, and it’s been a lot of fun to be part of The Hall and see a little of what goes on behind the scenes. So far I’ve also done some minor design stuff for TCH, made a few silly memes, I even got to tweet during conference last October. But hosting? That is a completely different endeavor requiring a completely different set of skills- skills that I’m not entirely sure I have.
Let’s look at this a moment. Everyone in The Cultural Hall has some sort of performance background; Richie- theater and radio, Brittney- theater, Rob- theater (and I totally just found out he’s even a DJ!), Kyle- radio, Joni- theater, Me- …*cricket noise.* Well, I was in a Shakespeare play once in 6th grade. Does that count? No. It doesn’t.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of experience entertaining people. I’ve been all over the country and even out of the US a few times to sing. I also spent 10+ years dancing. I’ve even been known to lead 22 nursery kids in “Once There Was a Snowman” like it’s a walk in the park, but, I doubt much of that is going to help me here. The question I have now is, how thrilled are people going to be to listen to me just sit and talk? Do I have anything interesting to say? Can I say it without droning on and on or saying “like” and “um” every other second? Will the witty back and forth that easily flows between the other panelists like a jovial volleyball suddenly fall with an awkward and heavy thud once I try to join the game? I just don’t know. Brittney did leave the bar sitting incredibly high.
And that’s another thing. I’m supposed to be filling Brittney’s spot, but I can’t help but realize, I’m about the exact opposite of Brittney;
- I’m not anxious, I’ve been married for 6 years.
- I’m not white, I’m more of a honey beige.
- I’m definitely not a virgin…
And yes, I know I’m not actually “replacing” Brittney, because you can’t just replace greatness first of all, and I know I’m supposed to just be myself and authentic and true to the quiet mysterious whisperings of my own inner voice and blah, blah, blah, but let’s be realistic for a minute. People are going to seriously miss Brittney and the quirky, angsty, intelligent dynamic she brought- as will I honestly because she was awesome- therefore, the possibility of them being disappointed with the new girl lacking their requisite level of angst may be fairly high. As you can see, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling a small amount of insecurity upon realizing I soon must attempt to sit down and entertain along side Richie and the gang.
- Here’s where you all come in- I need your help. I need it and I need it yesterday. Have any helpful hints for me? Any tricks or pointers or suggestions for how I might approach my newly appointed “calling?” Anything in particular you would like to hear from me? Anything in particular you’d like to hear in general? Send an e-mail or two to richie@theculturalhall.com and maybe with enough preparation, I wont fall all over myself like Bambi at an ice rink. And ya know, someone did say once, “If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.” Well, here’s to fearless preparation…wish me luck.