Introducing: Tales of a Mormon Housewife
There are quite a few ideas out there about what a housewife is exactly, and if we’re all being honest, there’s probably no single definition that could account for every woman and every household in America. Unfortunately, the word “housewife” tends to carry with it more of a negative connotation than a positive one. So what do we do as Mormons when we have to give a talk or lesson that centers around one single word and we’d like a clearly defined subject for our congregation? (But really we just want to eat up some time.) We give the standard “Webster’s dictionary defines ‘blank’ as…” So, what kind of card-carrying LDS woman would I be if I didn’t grace you with a definition? Here ya go;
house-wife /hous-wyf/ – a married woman who’s main occupation is running or coordinating the affairs of her home, caring for the health, happiness, and education of her children, cooking meals, buying goods and food needed by each member of the family, cleaning and maintaining parts of the home, etc.
Well, that was fun. Now that we all know that a housewife is simply someone who’s main job is running a home and caring for kids, and not some “desperate” lady with money to burn who attends dinner parties every other night in a dress two sizes too small, who fights with her “frienemies” at said party after becoming drunk off her… tushy, who then cheats on her husband with said frienemies’ husbands, all for the entertainment of the cable-watching public, we can move on. Oh, and she’s also not someone who lays around the house all day in sweats eating bon-bons and watching soap operas, who throws frozen fish sticks in the oven, and then pops a xanax and takes a glass of wine to bed.
Ok, ok- in all fairness, those could be types of housewives, so here’s another type for you: Mormon housewives. The grand majority of LDS women easily fall into this category of having our main occupation be that of running the home and making tiny humans with nothing but our blood, sweat, and uterus of steel, and if I can speak for most of us, I’d say we’re happy and proud of that decision. Somehow though, it seems we often come across those who still have that negative perception and no idea what we do or what our lives are really like. Even fellow Mormons who aren’t in that same phase of life can get a skewed perception of what the heck we’re up to all the time.
Wanna come along and read some tales of a Mormon housewife? I thought you might.
Introducing: Me
My name is Janae. (Juh-nay) If you ever wanted to get a feel for what a true blue, born in Utah, fully active, actual Mormon housewife is like, look no further. You’ve found your girl. It seems that so often you find the blogs and articles highlighting the 2%, or fringe Mormons; feminists who want pants and the priesthood, women who no longer believe and have left the church entirely, those who think Frozen and caffeine are of the Devil – things that make the other 98% percent of us go, “Huh???” The stories of the 2% are of course still important and worthwhile- but if you really want to know what the typical Mormon housewife looks like, what she does everyday, what she’s challenged with or puts her energies towards, perhaps try looking a little closer at that 98%.
Warning: The following is almost the very definition of “stereotypical female Mormon.”
I was born into the church to two active parents who loved each other, and even more so, loved their kids. My father was a professional athlete and my mother was a stay-at-home mom with more talents and skills than there are stars in the sky. I was raised in Utah Valley- beautiful, wholesome, safe Utah Valley. I loved it, truly, and especially after years of spending a good portion of the summers out of state, I saw how blessed I was to be growing up in such an exceptional place.
Our family of 2 boys and 2 girls went to church every Sunday, and my parents served diligently and happily in our ward and stake. They encouraged us to work hard, stay close as a family, build up our testimonies, and excel at whatever we found a passion for. I have a brother who’s a semi-pro snowboarder, a brother who did AAA soccer, and a collegiate gymnast for a sister with multiple state titles under her belt. I’m incredibly proud of each of my siblings.
I myself was the stereotypical over-involved high schooler; I was on the dance team, did cross country in the fall and track in the spring, sang in the chamber choir, and my senior year was called to Seminary Council. (Ya, it’s an actual calling.) For those of you outside of Utah, Seminary Council was just like Student Council, but over all the seminary students. Since literally 99% percent of the school was enrolled in seminary, it was actually a lot of work and a ton of fun. Often you were looked at as the example of righteousness by the entire school, and that halo placed on your head could feel more than a tad heavy at times, but for the most part, seminary council was something I look back on with really great memories. For the rest of you who did go to high school in Utah and know exactly what seminary council was, I must admit I was NOT the typical council member. I danced to hip hop music in front of the entire school at every game and assembly, I was a jock, and the kicker right here; I had a serious boyfriend- DUN, DUN, DUN! Can you believe it?
After high school I went to BYU, which I had worked incredibly hard since jr. high to hopefully be accepted to. (I miss BYU tremendously.) To support myself through college I worked for 5 years as a server. During my sophomore year one of my coworkers introduced me to ballroom dance. I later became a competitive ballroom dancer and danced on 1 of BYU’s 5 teams until graduation. My senior year I met a super attractive returned missionary, who was driven, respectful, and loved his Heavenly Father. We dated for a year, graduated from BYU, and were married in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple in 2008.
We then moved to Denver. We absolutely loved it there, but my husband was quickly promoted and after a year we were asked to return to Utah where the headquarters of the company is located. We purchased a home in the Salt Lake Valley, and I worked as a bridal consultant and event florist while my husband worked in the business world. I had our first of 2 babies in 2011, and another in 2013. I currently serve as the Relief Society Activities Chair and my husband is in the Young Men’s presidency. Is this all sounding super Mormony to anyone but me?
I make meals from scratch, work as a wedding planner and florist while my kids nap, and sew blankets when my friends have a new baby. I teach my 3 year old to pray, get up at 5:30 am to run, and make stupid noises to get my baby to laugh. I wash dishes, use coupons on my children’s clothes, and feel disappointed if I ever have to miss a BYU game. I do 5 loads of laundry a week, keep sugar away from my kids as if it’s iocaine powder (name the movie reference), and use my camera phone to document every possible moment of my family’s life. I say my prayers, try to be kind to everyone I come in contact with, go to temple, and have always had a strong testimony of the gospel- I am a Mormon housewife.
Well, now that you have some context, I may have a tale or two to tell. It will probably be that only my mom reads any of my future stories, but they’ll be here if you care to take a distracted glance. ‘Cause really, who wouldn’t be just slightly interested in the tales of a Mormon housewife?
I am totally intrigued and love you already! Can’t wait to read the next article.