Lending Your Temple Recommend – Is It Ever OK?
Recently a great Aunt in my family passed away. Two family members in particular are now trying to make arrangements for her funeral including buying the proper burial clothes. This brought up an interesting dilemma where those two are endowed but neither have a current temple recommend so neither are able to go to the distribution center and buy the burial clothes (it’s the ceremonial part needed). One of them then asked me if I would be willing to help buy clothes for the great Aunt. We couldn’t make our schedules work for that day and this person said the funeral home was very eager to get the clothes. I was then asked if I could just lend my recommend so the clothes could be purchased that day.
For the record, my initial reaction was “NO…I am NOT comfortable with this.” The reason being I just personally don’t feel comfortable with someone using my name to get temple clothes. It just feels wrong. After thinking about it for some time though it brought up some interesting questions. For clarification, the person asking to use my recommend is referred to as the borrower, I would be the lender.
1. The borrower is endowed but currently doesn’t hold a recommend. Does that matter if you’re buying the clothes FOR the deceased relative? The borrower knows what goes on in the temple and has made the covenants, right? Maybe the date just lapsed on the recommend and they don’t have time to go renew it for services this week.
2. The previous question begs the next; if the borrower has been endowed but doesn’t have a recommend because they can’t pay tithing vs. if they don’t have a recommend for murdering someone is there a difference if we don’t “rate” sins? If I know the reason the borrower doesn’t have a recommend does that matter in me lending it?
3. I’ve lent my credit card for someone to use my name/account to go buy food. Is that the same thing?
4. Am I just over thinking this and is there just NO situation where this is OK?
**Anonymous Blog Post**
I’m pretty open minded, but I think this one has a clear answer of “No! It is not okay to lend your temple recommend”! What’s more, it’s not okay to borrow somebody’s temple recommend. I’m surprised this is even a request, to be honest. If the temple is supposed to be the purest place on earth, then getting in to buy temple clothing under the pretense of literally being somebody that you’re not is certainly not a pure action, even if it’s for a pure intent. It just seems wrong to go down that slippery slope. Sure, this time it’s just for the distribution center, but what’s keeping a borrower from crossing the line between the distribution center and a marriage ceremony when it comes to borrowing a recommend? The reason that the borrower’s recommend isn’t current is not a valid factor.
I would say no there is no time it is right to loan your temple recommend. The relief society president is usually prepared for these kinds of situations as are bishops. And the statement that someone can’t pay tithing rubs me the wrong way. We chose not to pay or to pay tithing.
First of all, a temple recommend is not a credit card…and should not be “lent” out, no matter how noble the cause…she should either contact her bishop or her aunt’s bishop or other leaders to arrange for the purchase of the clothing if a family member cannot. If you are in Utah, then even the funeral home can provide the ceremonial clothing.
Not ok to lend out your recommend. Ever. You do not need to be a current recommend holder to buy garments, they just need your membership number. I imagine it would be the same for burial clothes.
Couldn’t the Relief Society President buy the clothes?
I see no problem with it, because I’m looking at it based on the situation, not based on following a rule which I believe is intended for another reason (to prevent the unendowed from having temple clothes).
However, as I was thinking about this, if the great aunt doesn’t already have the items in question, I would guess she probably didn’t want to be buried in them!
You don’t need a CURRENT temple recommend to buy temple clothing. You can purchase it online as long as you have your membership record. (Again as long as you’re endowed)
Yul – I’m not sure that’s true. The FAQ for the online store seems to say you must have an active temple recommend in order to buy ceremonial clothing, but that you only have to be endowed to buy garments.
Q. What information do I need to provide in order to purchase garments?
A. You must be endowed or have a signed and activated temple recommend to receive your endowment before you may purchase garments. Your LDS Account will verify this information and permit you to purchase garments.
Q. What information do I need to provide in order to purchase ceremonial clothing?
A. You must have a signed and activated temple recommend before you may purchase ceremonial clothing. Your LDS Account will verify this information and permit you to purchase ceremonial clothing.
Also, somewhat relevant to the original post is this:
To protect the sacred nature of garments and ceremonial clothing, those purchasing them must be endowed members of the Church. Garment purchases require that you have an LDS Account.
If you have not yet received your endowment, an endowed member with an LDS Account may enter his or her information for authorization and we will still be able to bill and ship the order to you. If you have questions, please call Customer Support.
So, you can enter your temple recommend information online to allow someone else to buy ceremonial clothing. I don’t really see the difference between that and letting someone borrow your paper recommend to do the same thing.
In our ward (which has 6-10 funerals per year), we keep an extra set locked up in the clerks office for just this purpose. The ward then reorders if the family cannot provide. I would check with your relief society president or bishop to see if there is a set available.
You don’t have to have a current recommend to purchase clothing from the distribution center. They will lookup anyones information and determine that he/she has been endowed and will allow them to purchase items. There is never a need to lend a recommend.
I know this is years later. I work in a distribution center. We can look up whether you have a recommend on the computer system if you don’t have it with you.
A current recommend is required for buying ceremonial clothing. The verification process on our terminal can let us know.
When people come in together, only one recommend is required. I believe there’s some trust there, that the recommend-holder is using it honestly and not buying for someone who doesn’t have a valid recommend.
One exception is people who are about to receive their endowments. They must show their own paper recommend signed by bishop and stake president (or equivalent). Parents of a prospective missionary about to go to the temple for the first time can’t use their recommends to get their child’s garments and ceremonial clothing.
Your recommend doesn’t have to be current for buying garments. It just has to not be revoked.
But for ceremonial clothing for burial, definitely check with your ward leaders first.