“I almost forgot to tell you!  Next week, we are going to Las Vegas and Disneyland!”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!  Just the two of you?”

“Yep!”

“That sounds like so much fun!  Are you staying in the same hotel room?”

“Oh – yeah!  Don’t worry,  I’m still entirely temple worthy and will stay that way.”

“Isn’t it hard to…ya know…not…ya know?”

“Not really.  When you are 34 and 32, resisting temptation is the norm, not giving into it. I have waited 32 years and I’m sure as heck not going to throw that all away now.  Or, I could just go down in a blaze of glory and make some money while I’m at it.  That’s what I’ll do!  I’ll make a tape and sell it!  But don’t worry, Mom, I’ll make you a copy.”

“LARISSA!  You snot. *gigglegiggle*”

Thus goes my joking with my mother about her worries.  You see, to me, the thought of breaking the law of chastity is as preposterous as it would be to my mother to make a “tape.”

I’ve never thought sleeping in the same room with someone of the opposite gender is a big deal.  Maybe I’ve traveled in large groups too often.  Maybe I am too naive.

Yes, I went to BYU.  I adhered to The Honor Code with an iron fist and demanded the same of my peers.  Frustration always set in when I was with a study group, the clock hit midnight, and we had to conclude, but the rules are the rules…until someone has an open office you can pull an all-nighter in.

I have always understood the extreme importance of adolescents adhering to strict rules that enable them to develop a habit of certain behaviors.  Because of those very rules, I am proud to say I am a 32-year old virgin in every sense of the word and have been worthy to enter the Lord’s temple every single day of my life.  This is my choice.  If I had wanted to choose differently, you better believe I would have.

There comes a point in every person’s life when you have to sit and evaluate what is truly most important to you.  For me, that is worthiness in front of my Lord – no matter what I religiously agree or don’t agree with.

Speaking of what is most important to me, consider this scenario:

• You are 32-years old.  You live in a condo alone.
• Your significant other of almost a year is 34-years old and also lives in a condo alone.
• You have never toyed with breaking the law of chastity – you have clear boundaries and the lines are not crossed.
• You can spend $1,000 on hotel rooms to go on a fun vacation together, or you can spend $500 on one room to go on vacation together.
• You will be gone from 8am – 11pm or midnight every single day…only in the hotel to sleep.

What was most important to me in this scenario was saving $500. I hear-tell this may make some of you nervous.  And if it does, don’t do it!  Simple as that.

If I were to lose my temple-worthy status, why would I wait for some strange hotel room in a strange city when both of us live alone in our own comfortable condos?  Know what I’m saying?

I caused some confusion and panic amongst my friends by posting photos on Facebook referring to “our” suite.  Honestly, I didn’t even think about it.  Some innocently thought I had secretly gotten married.  Some feared for my integrity.  Most know me well enough to not even think twice about it.

I can think of several occasions in my adult life where grown men have slept in my home.  I have no family here in Utah, which means I’ve had to endure some devastating situations utterly alone.  On those nights, a dear, brotherly friend of mine came to my rescue and held me while I sobbed myself to sleep.  Another time, a friend left a doctor’s appointment quite looped-up and stopped by my house, whereupon I practically forced him to stay – no one should be driving in that condition.  Call me crazy, but I struggle to see the difference between falling asleep with someone of the opposite gender in the room at 2pm versus 2am.  Another time, the only choice I had was to pay another $800 for my own room in New York after a 37-mile walk, or share a room with my sister and her husband.  So, she was the peanut butter in the middle of a huge, king-sized bed.  Awkward, I know, but I didn’t care about awkward after a 37-mile walk.

There are certain times in the cost-benefit analysis of “the appearance of evil,” when the “appearance” is the last thing on my mind. What is the appearance of evil in LDS culture, anyway?

Holding a coffee cup that is actually filled with hot chocolate?

Being seen at a bar when you are actually picking up an inebriated friend?

Purchasing wine that is actually for cooking?

Wearing a sleeveless dress in a photo when the dress is actually a costume for theater?

Staying in the same hotel room as someone of the opposite gender?

Are we perpetuating open-judging based on the principle to “appearance of evil”?  Didn’t Christ teach in Matthew 7:1, “Judge not, that ye be not judged“?

I strongly support and enforce not placing yourself in temptation’s way.  As Richie himself has said, “If there is no gun in the house, then no one gets shot.”  But what if you are not tempted?  If you are on a diet, would you walk into a chocolate shop?  Well, sure, if chocolate isn’t a temptation for you.  Before you think I don’t want the proverbial “chocolate” for which I’ve waited 32 years, believe you me, I want that chocolate! I just don’t let that craving control me.

I honestly did not think anything of the hotel situation until the fussings/whisperings of a select few.   I didn’t realize that hotel room = premarital sex…that is entirely foreign to my world.  I understand that if the very adolescents who need these rules see me breaking them, then last week I was not the best example for them.  For that, I am terribly sorry.  I wasn’t thinking.  For those of you who are chocoholics and can’t walk into the chocolate shop while on a diet, I am also sorry.

In the LDS culture, we have many adolescent rules that form us into adult decision-makers.  We are also accustomed to a culture where “single” and “30+” have rarely been in the same sentence.  Most LDS adults can only remember the struggles they had resisting temptation as a young adult or youth, then were married before they had to endure my years of resistance training.  Another small portion of adults remember how they “gave in” as a youth and the resulting struggles.  I’d venture a guess that folks like me are in the 1%.

You can look at it this way: the rules are your gymnastics coach.  When you are first learning your back tuck, you need your coach to spot you, otherwise you will hurt yourself badly. You need the rules for foundation on each move and constant guidance.  Eventually, however, you are flying high with no assistance and no fear of hurting yourself.

In the end, I am acutely aware of what I’m not doing and the Lord is equally as aware of what I’m not doing.  I truly believe that bit of knowledge is all that matters.  I had zero idea this was such an edgy topic until I posted a photo, then Articles of News 3.4.2013 aired.  I understand this is far from the right decision for some, however, I wish strangers trusted me as much as my friends, family, and Heavenly Father trust me.  If I fall, you can tell me, “I told you so.”  Actually, you can’t.  Why?  Because there is no “if.”  I am a proud virgin until I am sealed to my eternal companion.  Trust me on this one.