The Cultural Hall podcast interviewees are always asked what their dream calling would be, and as I come to that part of each episode I find myself wondering what I would answer. That answer changes periodically, but the answer to the one calling I would not like to have is Ward Missionary, even more dread to me than being called as Den Mother (shudder). I know, I’m pretty much jinxing myself by putting it in print.

But, truthfully, I’m terrified of missionary work, and a little terrified to admit it.

I’m a born and raised Utah Mormon, but have spent seven years of my mortal existence living on the East Coast and in the Midwest. I currently reside in what might possibly be the most LDS-dense city on the planet. I could run the perimeter of my ward boundaries in about 15 minutes, and I run like an old lady. I honestly cannot remember the last time I had a face-to-face encounter with someone I knew was not a member of the LDS faith. I’m swimming in Mormons.

My stints, however, living “in the mission field,” were ripe with opportunities to share the gospel, and I often did so. One non-member boyfriend of mine even joined the church, a membership that lasted exactly as long as our relationship. To those who asked about my faith, I was happy to share, and to those who clearly had strong (negative) opinions of my religion, I just combed my hair over my horns and tried to be a good neighbor. Living outside of Utah is as close to a full-time mission as I’ve experienced.

When the full-time missionaries came to our house for dinner, though, a frequent occurrence, they inevitably asked us to give them names of our acquaintances for them to contact and possibly teach. This part of the visit always made me squirm, taking me back to the days when my parents, full of entrepreneurial spirit, were entrenched in one multi-level-marketing business after another. Growing up, I knew that my dad had a message to share with everyone he came in contact with, and while his eyes were bright with the dream of self-made success, my eyes were cast down with embarrassment. I admire my dad’s drive, his faith in his ability to improve our circumstances, but all I could see was that we were turning away all our friends and family by making them feeling like business opportunities.

Is missionary work just a means for “building the business?”

Some would say yes, if that business is saving souls. Sister Tobias, The Cultural Hall’s very own full-time missionary correspondent, recently sent us a handout that she has been instructed to give to the members in her area. It looks like this:

“The Missionary Next Door:
The Easy Way to be a Member Missionary”

*Goal: To create a non-threatening social conversion for your non-member friends.*
Everybody needs a spiritual and social conversion. The spiritual conversion is MUCH harder, so leave that part up to the full-time and set-apart missionaries. All you have to do is invite your friends, and that will begin their social conversion (D&C 33:8-10).

9 ideas to help you “Open Your Mouth”

1. Hang church pictures on your walls at home
2. Have the missionaries over for dinner and invite non-members over (Have the missionaries share a quick 5-minute Restoration lesson after dinner to the members).
3. Friends cannot sleepover unless they want to sleepover and come to church in the morning.
4. Mutual, Firesides, Enrichment Night, Ward Activities, Church—Bring a friend (The best place to hear about the church is a member’s home or in the church)
5. Have family prayer when non-members/less-actives are at your house
6. No friends over on Sunday unless you all watch a church video together
7. Only date non-members if they take the discussions—to learn about your values
8. Hold discussions in your home once a week with the missionaries
9. Schedule missionary visits when less-actives and non-members are present

**The Golden Rule: Inform the missionaries you are inviting friends so the missionaries are aware of your friends at the social event. We will ask your friends if they would like lessons to learn about our church (to begin their spiritual conversion). Then if your friends think we are weird, it is okay, because we’re being transferred!

Statistics:
1/1000 people are baptized after personal contacting from missionaries alone.
660/1000 people are baptized after being introduced by YOU and being taught in YOUR home.

Some people look at this handout and think, “Wow, those are some great ideas!” I see this handout and start to lose circulation in my fingers and toes. Then the guilt strolls on up and slaps me across the face with its leather gloves. Can I still be a good Mormon if I don’t want to shove my religion down my neighbor’s throat?

After much contemplation, I answer that question with a resounding “Yes!” Because if you’re shoving it, you’re doing it wrong. People know if your friendship is sincere or if they are just a project to you.

My opinion is this: Love first. Teach second. And if #2 is a no-go, #1 is still in effect.

The tools presented in the handout can be good tools. (And there are many others. My sister living in St. Louis finds FHE to be a popular event among her kids’ friends, member and non-member alike.) But you don’t have to have a stash of pass-along cards in your back pocket to be a missionary. For those, like me, who lose a little stature in the pew when Brother Amazing bears his testimony of converting his cabbie at LAX during a 20 minute car ride, sit back up. God gave you exactly the tools you need to be exactly who you need to be for exactly the people who need you. And if you are Brother (or Sister) Amazing, well, congratulations.

We are, after all, building a kingdom, and the reward for building your downline isn’t Black Diamond status.

It’s joy. (Doctrine and Covenants 18:15)

Now what to do about my phobia of Scouting?