Archive

Drawing the line and/or trying something new (in the bedroom)

The comments on my recent post about sex toys have veered into various sexual behaviors, so I thought I’d refocus the conversation here on a new post.

Many of you have expressed the idea that the church has no business inside the bedroom. And that what a couple does behind that door is up to them. But if that’s the case, how does the couple set boundaries for themselves? And what happens when one partner is interested in something that the other isn’t? How do you negotiate this?

So if a couple is interested in using sex toys, I’d bet that most of you wouldn’t find that problematic. Or maybe oral & anal sex are just fine, too. But what about using porn? Or engaging in S&M? Or swinging? Or having sex in public places? Or posting sex videos on the internet? At what point has a couple gone too far? Or is it all okay between consenting adults? Do you think the church should draw some sort of line? Or does the temple recommend question about the law of chastity cover it? Continue reading ‘Drawing the line and/or trying something new (in the bedroom)’

Fundamentalist Mormon : Mormon :: Mormon : Christian

Here’s an analogy for you to consider–

Fundamentalist Mormon : Mormon :: Mormon : Christian

Just as Fundamentalist Mormosn often consider themselves to be the ‘real’ Mormons, Mormons often consider themselves to be the ‘real’ Christians. And yet, both are viewed by the group to which they aspire as outdated, strange, and even oppressive.

Of course, analogies break down. Where does this one fall apart?

Parties with Passion

A young LDS friend recently invited me to a Passion Party at her home. Passion Parties are like Tupperware Parties except instead of kitchenware, your hostess is selling items like flavored massage oils and vibrators.

I wasn’t too surprised by the invitation–like me, this friend is pretty open in her views about sex. However I found myself uncomfortable at the party. Not because of all the sex talk, but I was uncomfortable with the products themselves. Now let me say that I’m not against sex toys per se. And I was pleased that this company was female-positive, meaning that none of the packaging or advertising had images that were degrading to women (I only wish I could say the same of our local sex shops that I refuse to patronize for that very reason). But my discomfort was because the products were so ‘cutesy’–shaped like little animals and brightly colored like children’s toys.

I feel like sex is something that’s important and adult. And even though it can be quite fun and playful, it seems rather degrading to have glow-in-the-dark rabbits and dolphins and hedgehogs as part of it.

What do you think? Am I just too puritanical to get it? Am I odd in thinking that I don’t want my toys to be confused with those in my kids’ toybox?

Julia Sweeney and the Mormon Missionaries

Julia Sweeney recently talked on RadioWest with Doug Fabrizio. Her journey away from religious belief began when two LDS missionaries knocked on her door and asked an innocent question: Do you believe that God loves you? Her answer began a fascinating period of self-reflection and self-realization, which she transformed into her one-woman show, “Letting Go of God.”

It is well worth your time if you have entertained questions about faith and belief. The issues apply to religious belief more generally, but several questions phoned in deal with LDS issues in that context. If you read The Cultural Hall, I suspect you’ll find this a very worthwhile interview. You can listen to the podcast version here. Now, stop reading here, download the podcast, and enjoy!

Pre-mission exam?

Recently my spouse had to get his prostate examined. His female doctor asked him whether he’d ever had an exam of that particular part of his body before and when he replied that he’d had it done when he was 19, she was quite surprised. He mumbled something about having it as part of a comprehensive physical before he went abroad. She was a bit skeptical but didn’t press the question further.

Later, as he and I discussed this we wondered if missionaries still get the p-exam pre-mission? If so, does anyone know why this is required when prostate problems are rarely found in 19 year-olds?

I’m also curious if anyone knows what the pre-mission physical exam entails for women? Do they have to have a pelvic exam and pap smear?

UPDATE: I should’ve said (but wrote too hastily) that I know prostate exams were required back in the late ’80s to  early 90’s.  I remember many jokes among my male friends about the indignity of the ‘turn and cough’ procedure.  I was wondering if the reason for this was truly because of concern for prostate health or if it might have had anything to do with a check for homosexual activity?  I’m not at all sure, so I was hoping that y’all might know…

Using the priesthood

In the next room there is a sleeping two-month-old baby, who, in spite of his tiny size, was able to instigate quite a hefty discussion last week.  The time had come to bless our son in church, and my wife was understandably wary of giving a confirmed skeptic like me the microphone in front of her friends and family.

Like many conversations about our religion, this one started awkwardly enough.  I assured her I felt perfectly able to fulfill the cultural tradition of blessing my son; behaviorally I am a model of Mormon behavior, certainly “worthy” to perform the task.  My wife objected, saying that since I no longer believe in the priesthood it wouldn’t be right to have me pretending to use it.  I could understand her worry, and I imagine many of you might agree with her reasoning.

We talked for a few minutes about it before I realized that in all the discussions we’ve had about our religion, I had failed to make one crucial point clear:  I do believe that God interacts with his children.  I believe he occasionally gives to each of us greater words, understanding, insights, or strength than we are capable of achieving on our own.  I even believe that he uses the LDS version of priesthood as a tool to deliver these gifts to his children.  But it is obviously not God’s only method for doing so, and his use of the priesthood to communicate with Mormons is far from the black-and-white proof of the restoration that many Mormons believe it is.

When I explained this to my wife, a non-traditional but believing member of the Church, she seemed quite relieved that I allow for God’s influence in my life, and she happily agreed that I should bless our son.  I did so yesterday.  The gist of the blessing actually came to my mind at 3:30 yesterday morning—roughly six hours before I should have been relying on the spirit to guide my words.  Perhaps God gives his skeptical children advanced notice. 

After spending the morning rehearsing how I might verbalize the ideas that came to me in the night, I stood in a circle and clumsily stumbled over ideas that should have been simple and beautiful.  I blessed him with optimism in a negative world, with tolerance for other beliefs, with a desire to find truth in his own and other religious traditions, and with the courage to accept and learn from his mistakes.  It didn’t come to me at the instant I spoke it, it wasn’t at all traditional, and I didn’t use any of the blessing clichés, but I have a feeling that God was pleased nonetheless.

Doug Brewster Goes to Heaven

By Peggy Rogers

Peggy is a dear friend who passed away Wednesday afternoon. A cultural Mormon, Peggy wrote this story several years ago. I really like it, and I wanted to share it.

Doug Brewster Goes to Heaven

When he thought about his former life (and it wasn’t often) the last thing that Doug Brewster remembered was climbing into his green Pinto, pulling out of the parking lot of Last Chance Tavern, and heading home. Of course he’d had a few beers–it was Friday night, wasn’t it? and his job at the steel mill was dry work. He deserved a little recreation.

Continue reading ‘Doug Brewster Goes to Heaven’

A vasectomy for Christmas?

The recent furor over at Times and Seasons about family planning has got me thinking about birth control. I’d say that if there’s anything that I know, it’s that birth control is a good thing. I feel fortunate that I live in a time and place when I’ve had the ability to plan each of my pregnancies.

My spouse and I are feeling that we’re definitely done having children so we’re considering a vasectomy for my husband. When I mentioned this a few years ago to my OB/Gyn, he strongly discouraged us, saying that he’d seen way too many couples feel regret afterwards (this, ironically, was in the same conversation where he admitted to me that three of his five children were born when he and his wife went to bed too drunk to remember to use their own BC–sheesh. And no, he’s not my doctor anymore…). My friends who’ve already had their surgeries seem happy it. One told me, “It’s the greatest gift we’ve ever given each other.” So it’s got me thinking that maybe it would be the perfect Christmas present this year?

I’m curious–how many of you (or your partners) have chosen tubal ligations and/or vasectomies? Are you happy with your choice? Did you have any unforeseen complications? Any regrets?

Past & present

I’ve found myself in an uncomfortable situation: a former lover of mine (from nearly two decades ago) is working for the same company as my husband. Their offices are on the same floor. When visiting my spouse at work, I sometimes encounter this other guy (I’ll call him “Dean”).

I really can’t figure out what the appropriate response is when I see Dean. I want to be friendly—he played a pretty significant role in my life. Yet whenever I see him I hear an echo of my bishop telling me that I should never think of this man or our relationship again. Bishop said the slate was “wiped clean” when I repented and it was as if this had never happened.

But it’s not as if this never happened. It did happen and it was important to my development as a sexual person and as the woman who would eventually marry my husband. I have no regrets about my relationship with Dean. At the same time, I’m not at all tempted to resume any intimacy with him.

Continue reading ‘Past & present’

I Don’t Know Much

That title is not just hyperbole. I really don’t know much of anything, except maybe how to spell hyperbole. I gave up saying “I know” about five years ago. I used to think I knew stuff. Now I know(!) better. That’s one thing I do know: how little I know.

So, given that I don’t know much, here are some things I think and believe and hope, with a teeny bit of knowing thrown in where the term is accurate. Continue reading ‘I Don’t Know Much’

What I know

The discussion surrounding the recent conference talk, Mothers Who Know, was fascinating. I read the Feminist Mormon Housewives and Exponent II conversations and other blog and bulletin board discussions, as well as the comments on the articles posted at the Deseret News and the Tribune, and found that I couldn’t help but react, sometimes in agreement, and sometimes in disagreement. Later I read What Women Know, which focuses on a broadened conceptualization of women’s many roles in life, and I found myself thinking again about the women and men in my life who have made a difference. If I have amounted to anything in life, it is largely because of the things I have learned from others. Whether from women or from men, I most value the things I have learned through nurturance and compassion. Hierarchy, commandments, and guilt have proven poor teachers in my case.

Continue reading ‘What I know’

The Unseen Life part 2 (Celebrate Your Wilderness)

 Below is a quote from John O’Donohue, he is a philosopher, poet and resigned Catholic priest. I think it has interesting parallels to how we all approach our own relationship with the Church.  And also how we approach our relationships with spouses, family, and friends in regard to the Church.

“Solitude is the sense of space as nourishing. What happens with solitude is that people equate it with loneliness, which frightens them. But I don’t know a good friendship or relationship in which there was not long periods of solitude. There is a way in which we treat our relationships almost as a colonial expedition: we want to colonize the space, all the territory between, until there is no wilderness left. Most couples who have deadened in each others presence have colonized their space this way. They have domesticated each other beyond recognition.

I think it is more interesting to be with somebody who still has his or her genuine wilderness. Upon seeing that in the other person, you promise yourself: One thing I will never do is try to domesticate her wilderness. Because the authenticity of her difference and the purity of her danger and the depth of her affection are all being secretly nourished by that wilderness.”

Celebrate your Wilderness!

Religion Can Reduce Cheating

This isn’t a Mormon-specific post, but I thought y’all might be interested in this post from my more academic blog. It describes research a colleague and I did that found people who were exposed to religious words, either by sorting them in a “scrambled sentence” task (akin to an anagram) or by flashing the words briefly on a screen (so that they were perceived subliminally), were less likely to cheat subsequently.

Now, back to your regularly-scheduled Mo discussions….

Mind of a Five-Year Old

Sacrament meeting today was the primary program. It contained the usual ingredients — the child who seems to swallow the microphone, the Sunbeams who are too shy to sing, and so on. I’ve seen it dozens of times before, but it is always cute, so I went to sacrament meeting this morning wondering what would make me smile this time. Of course, my 4 yr-old played a bit of peek-a-boo with me while he was on the stand, crouching down so I couldn’t see him, and then popping up with a big smile on his face. That was fun.

But his 5 yr-old friend who sat with us before the program began said something that made me smile. During the sacrament service, she whispers to me, “I’m thinking about Jesus.” “That’s nice,” I reply. After a 3 or 4-second pause, she continues by telling me the many things she likes about Shrek. Then, not missing a beat, she tells me about the holy ghost.

I love kids! :-)

Uninterested

I blow hot and cold on any number of things.  Earlier this year I really enjoyed reading feminist web sites, but then that got old.  I was really gung ho about dieting for the first couple of months in 2007, but I lost interest in that too.  Lately, I’ve found my passion for my paid work to be waning, though my occasional trips to the office will fan those flames and I’ll get excited about it again, at least for a while.

Right now, I’m not particularly interested in Mormon stuff.  I’ve been reading and writing about Mormon stuff on the internet since about 2000 or so, and I don’t think there are many Mormon issues that I haven’t heard discussed at least once.  Multiple first vision accounts.  MIH.  Helen Mar Kimball.  Post-Manifesto plural marriage.  Treasure guardians.  ZZZZZZZZZ.

I think my interest has waned at least in part because my engagement has been so scaled back.  Mormon Matters was a huge recent catalyst for my continued excitement about Mormon stuff, but it’s pretty much on hiatus and maybe gone for good.  All that’s left are the blogs, the boards, and Real Life church.  Only Real Life church brings any obligation to participate with it, and I’m able to blow that off quite easily when I’m out of town for a week (as I am now).

What keeps your interest up in Mormon stuff?  Anger?  Curiousity?

Seeds of Peace (or my prayer for the DAMU, myself and all of us)

“In the depths of our consciousness, we have both the seeds of compassion and the seeds of violence. We become aware that our mind is like a garden that contains all kinds of seeds: seeds of understanding, seeds of forgiveness, seeds of mindfulness, and also seeds of ignorance, fear and hatred. We realize that, at any given moment, we can behave with either violence or compassion, depending on the strength of these seeds within us. Continue reading ‘Seeds of Peace (or my prayer for the DAMU, myself and all of us)’

The Dangers of “Truth”

“The daily wars that occur within our thoughts and within our families have everything to do with the wars fought between peoples and nations throughout the world. The conviction that we know the truth and that those who do not share our beliefs are wrong has caused a lot of harm. When we believe something to be the absolute truth, we have become caught in our own views. If we believe, for instance, that Buddhism is the only way to happiness, we may be practicing a kind of violence by discriminating against and excluding those who follow other spiritual paths.

When we are caught in our views, we are not seeing and understanding in accord with reality. Being caught in our views can be very dangerous and block the opportunity for us to gain a deeper wisdom.”

From Creating True Peace, by Thich Nhat Hanh (Pages 11-12)

Happy Halloween! (Don’t dress like Elvira at BYU)

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. Yes, I have a sweet tooth, and the dental bills to prove it. Because my favorite holidays are the ones that involve food, I love Halloween. Continue reading ‘Happy Halloween! (Don’t dress like Elvira at BYU)’

Admin Note: Registered Users

I just deleted 20 registered users and their associated posts.  Most of them were from .ru ISP’s, with one or two from .kr.  Those that were dot coms had names like “MarlboroCig” and no associated human names.  All the registered users that I recognized or that appeared legitimate are still here.

If I deleted you, and you AREN’T a spammer, I’m really, really sorry.  Next time, please put your name in the “name” box, so I’ll know you are a real person. 

We have the Akismet spam filter running, and it’s pretty good, but some stuff still slips through, and I don’t want to make it easier for that to happen.

Emergency Preparedness

Brothers and Sisters, I would indeed be remiss if I did not stand before you today and tell you that I know 72 hour emergency kits are true. Cell phones are also true, as well as the internet and my local PBS Station, KPBS. And wise use of sufficient tax dollars is also a true principle.

Sunday, in the late afternoon, the wind was hot, and blowing hard at my house in San Diego County, Continue reading ‘Emergency Preparedness’

The Unseen Life - part 1

There is a great magazine called The Sun (not to be confused with Sunstone), I highly recommend it. I just read a wonderful interview with John O’Donohue, he is a philosopher, author and retired/resigned Catholic priest. It was so interesting and inspiring. Here is the first of a few parts I thought would be of interest to this group/blog and the Mormon experience.

Interviewer: You’ve said that each Catholic can create his or her own “niche” in the faith. Is that really Catholicism?

O’Donohue: The term a la carte Catholicism has been used to denigrate those who pick and choose from the tradition, selecting only what nourishes, challenges, and heals them. On the other hand, nobody goes into a restaurant and chooses everything on the menu. Continue reading ‘The Unseen Life - part 1′

Not a Natural Act

A mission is not a natural act. This is something I believed long before I went with my companion and two other elders to an R-rated movie. (More about that later.) But I was reminded of this today when I saw our local missionaries’ car in the ward parking lot. Someone had written graffiti on the windows, making it look like high schoolers on their way to the homecoming football game. Instead of “Beat the Blue Devils”, or “Go Panthers!” it had LDS themes: “CTR” in a shield; “We’re Mormon Missionaries”; and my favorite, “We (heart) Mormon Girls.”

Yes, “We (heart) Mormon Girls.” Now, if that doesn’t inspire confidence in member-missionary relations, I don’t know what does.

Our missionaries are young, and they may even be immature enough to have decorated the car themselves, but I somehow doubt that it was their own graffiti. More likely, it was written on the car by the missionary fan club while the elders were in meetings. Still, it reminded me of my own mission experiences.

I went on my mission back before “the bar” was raised. If anything, it was as low as it had ever been. I went when males were called for 18 months, and with the way that transfers worked out, I served just 17. Granted, it seemed much longer than that, but still, the bar was low. Very low.

For instance, my mission president didn’t mind us seeing movies once a month, as long as they were “clean” movies. At the time, I didn’t even look at the marquis when we went to the small-town theater on P-Day and saw a matinee. There wasn’t much skin, but there was a lot of violence in that movie. It was a natural thing for four 20-yr-olds to do. The un-natural thing happened when one of the ward members came through the theater whispering, “Elders? Elders, where are you?” He wanted to take us to the district leaders’ baptism in a nearby town. Not finding us at the apartment, he looked around, asking himself where we might be. Seeing the theater down the street, he assumed we were there, despite the fact that it was an R-rated action flick playing. See, I told you the bar was low.

So I’m going to cut our missionaries some slack when I see their car decorated with graffiti, even if it is their own handiwork. Part of the reason is that I’m not looking to convert anybody. But the more important part is that a mission is not a natural act. As I recall, Joseph Smith himself said something to the effect that if you keep a spring wound too tightly, it will break. Even Elder G, the tightly-wound companion with whom I suffered tension headaches, loosened his spring when the next James Bond movie came out. Besides, the girls I heart are Mormon girls, too… although I never wrote it on my car windows.

Ken Jennings Interview

If you haven’t seen it already, check out this interview with Ken Jennings, about being a Mormon.

Creator of my own life

I heard a story about a man of action. He had accomplished a great deal in his life; he’d had adventures, and engaged in interesting and creative hobbies. His wife followed him. In the process she also had adventures and engaged in interesting and creative hobbies. But they were his choices, his ideas. He was the instigator. He was the actor. She was along for the ride.

I find myself in much the same situation, and it bothers me. Few people who knew me back in my single parent days would describe me as a follower. If things happened in my life, I made them happen. Nobody was going to do it for me! Now, after ten years of marriage, I find myself a reactor to the life that’s happening around me, instead of creating the life I want to live.

I wonder how much my twenty years of church indoctrination has contributed to this? Nothing is really keeping me from writing music reviews, or auditioning for local theatre, or marching for peace from Washington Square through the French Quarter on October 27th. My husband would encourage my pursuit of my own interests and certainly isn’t standing in my way. However, I seem to think that the only valid alternative use of the hours I spend on the internet is housework. And I hate housework.

I think the church has not-so-subtly encouraged my passivity. I do what I’ve been called to do, and if I’ve not been called to do it, I don’t. I’m not creating my own life. I’m existing within the life I’ve landed in. It doesn’t have to be this way. So why is it? How do we become actors in our own lives, instead of reactors to others? I am reminded of a line from the play Auntie Mame: “Life is a banquet,” Mame Dennis declared, “and most poor sons of bitches are starving to death.”

Talking to Myself

In an episode of Law and Order, the director of a residential facility for severely mentally disabled children and adolescents is charged with causing the death of a resident by using a banned “control” device. As evidence in his favor, one of the other residents “testifies,” using a letter board, guided by his mother. A simple test by Our Man, Sam Waterston, demonstrates that it is the mother, not the boy, who is selecting what to “say.” It’s a very sad scene. In conference afterwards, Sam identifies what has happened clearly: the woman has now realized that she’s spent the last five years talking to herself.

I sometimes feel like that about prayer. Like I’m saying what I want, and what I hope, and what I feel, but I might as well be talking to myself. There are the occasional glimmers of a response, but they are few and far between, and I mistrust them even while I count myself fortunate for them.

This puts me in a predicament. I have a number of callings in my ward. One of these callings offers the scope to recommend others to replace me in some of these callings. Also, there are other callings that need filling that I need to make recommendations for. How am I to do this if God isn’t speaking to me? I get ideas, and ask God about them, and get back nothing. No “stupor of thought,” no warm fuzzies, no pleasant confirming thoughts. Nothing. Talking to myself.

I want to honor the process. I want to do the right thing. I want to recommend people to fill these positions. But there is a “right way” to do this, and I don’t seem to be capable of it.

Another GC Come and Gone

General Conference came and went, and I didn’t see even a minute of it. I heard a couple of minutes of the first session on Saturday, but it was after the Big News. I didn’t stick around to hear how wonderful it is to live in Utah, courtesy of some guy who lives there.

I did closely follow the proceedings on the Bloggernacle. For those of you who are in somewhat the same situation as I am (sorta believing, but with limits) I highly, highly recommend it. Intelligent thoughtful people extract the best from the conference talks and make them interesting. I may even read some of the actual talks when the Ensign comes out next month!

Bloggernacle Conference Highlights:

Once again, the Bloggernacle has come through for me.  It’s amazing how much more I like church filtered through the lens of smart people who don’t have my cynicism or bias.

The small shift

I was having dinner last night w/ an old friend who was in town on business.  He is a great guy. We were roommates at the B.Y. and have remained close friends for almost 20 yrs. We started talking about life, marriage, parenting, and even the church. We talked about changing values, perspectives and priorities. 

He asked me how my relationship with the church has changed over the years. I mentioned to him that for some reason, I just started looking at things differently (that includes ordinances, scriptures, callings, priesthood, traditions, culture, and even doctrine.) 

Instead of taking the perspective of looking at things as rules or commandments that I am told “I must do”, or taking the other perspective of looking at things as just BS, I just started looking at EVERYTHING as a sacred text and I ask “what can be learned from this?”  What can I learn about myself, my family, and my community? What value can I add to this experience? What connections can I make? I want to understand things better.  

I guess a better way to explain it is that I don’t really look to be handed things or “taught” things that were/are “inspired”—I look to find things and share things that are “inspiring.” The shift is simple but huge. It has made everything more open, more beautiful, more truth-ful, more honest, more flexible, more valuable, more present–yet more eternal, more human and therefore more divine.

Choosing our beliefs

For years I assumed that people stopped going to church because they found it interfered with their social lives. It’s hard to be a partier, for example, if you awake the next morning feeling guilty for having disobeyed the brethren. And what better way to escape regret than to decide you don’t believe in the precepts that inspire guilt in the first place? It sounds a little silly to me now, but my assumption wasn’t entirely without merit—I worked with a guy who unabashedly proclaimed that he stopped believing in the restored gospel simply because he didn’t like feeling guilty for fishing on Sundays, and a few friends have said the same about drinking coffee and beer.

There are obvious holes in this kind of reasoning, not the least of which is that our disbelief has absolutely no bearing on reality. Magellan’s journey may have encouraged people to reconsider their belief that the world was flat, but it certainly didn’t change the shape of the earth. People who seek the truth must acknowledge that their own beliefs are powerless to change it—that what is true will be true even if not a single person alive believes it to be so. This may not be such a big deal for a lot of people, because I suspect that many of us aren’t seeking truth at all—we’re simply looking for a version of reality that allows us to feel happy, productive, and peaceful.

Continue reading ‘Choosing our beliefs’

Losing Your Church and Your Marriage

A friend on another board has just told some of us that she is getting divorced. It does not seem that the divorce is her idea, but her husband’s. He isn’t willing to remain married to a post-Mormon. I reacted very strongly to the news. I cried a little. I hugged my husband a lot. I felt like we’d failed her somehow.

Losing your faith is tough. Being married to someone who has lost his/her faith is tough. Change is tough. And yet, people change. I know that when people marry in the temple they are assuming that the marriage is eternal. But that doesn’t mean that the thoughts, ideas, opinions, and yes, beliefs of the person you marry are eternally fixed at the point in time when you each say “Yes.”

I was struck recently by a comment Kevin Barney made in an “I don’t know and neither do you” tangent on By Common Consent: “We all, every one of us, walk by faith.” If you can believe that God and Jesus appeared as physically embodied beings to a semi-literate fourteen year-old in upstate New York; if you can believe that said fourteen year-old produced a work of scripture by reading the words on a stone in his hat; if you can believe that the illegitimate son of a carpenter and his teen-aged bride rose from the dead three days after being executed by the Romans ca. 30 CE; then why can’t you believe that even if your spouse doesn’t believe all those things, somehow, it can still all work out? You can believe all these implausible things, but you can’t believe in the person you married.

That’s faithless.

The Cultural Hall

A few days ago, the permabloggers here decided that it was time to change our look. Actually, I probably forced the issue, since I’ve never thought the old look had anything to do with our name, and I thought the old look was ugly. We uploaded some photos taken in LDS cultural halls, and the reaction in comments here, and among the perma-bloggers was varied, and interesting.
First a little history lesson about the LDS cultural hall. The first LDS cultural hall was probably the Nauvoo Cultural Hall. Its varied uses reflected the early saints’ broad interest in the world around them. It was used for church and business meetings, plays, funerals, dances, and Masonic meetings. (Yes, all that dancing that Terryl Givens speaks of probably started here.) The tradition of strong support for a public building dedicated to enjoyment of “culture” continued when the Saints moved west to Utah, first in the Social Hall in Salt Lake City, and then in cultural halls built in many, many small towns in the mountain west, such as Chesterfield, Idaho, where the cultural hall was called the amusement hall.

Continue reading ‘The Cultural Hall’

Mormons in Salon

The lead story tonight on the news/culture/leftie commentary site Salon is “The Mormons are Coming.” The article is primarily a positive review of Terryl Givens book “People of Paradox.” Reaching back to his childhood experience as a summer/Christmas visitor to a rural town full of Mormons, author Andrew O’Hehir has written an entertaining view of the church’s growth, change, challenges and victories in the last 180 years.

O’Hehir refers twice, with incredulity, to Joseph Smith’s translation of the Book of Mormon by “talking into his hat.” Apparently, I’m not the only person who finds that particular translation method a little odd.

In his conclusion, O’Hehir’s states that the collapse of sacred distance Givens refers to in his book is 180 years old and retreating. This really jumped out at me. One of the most interesting things about our modern prophets is that they really don’t prophesy. They give advice. The usual excuse is that we don’t need more prophecy. This is a great contrast to the early days of the church, when the return of prophecy was evidence of the church’s truthfulness.

The article includes references to books by Mormons and non-Mormons, B.H. Roberts, an edition of the Book of Mormon that footnoted locations with their modern counterparts, Eugene England, and the BYU Ballroom Dance team. That’s a lot of territory in a very short space. The article is very positive. There is, alas, no mention of the Bloggernacle.

I’d be interested to hear what any of our readers might think of the article.

Everything Expands

I have been traveling most of the summer for work, which means a lot of time for reading and a lot of opportunity to meet interesting people from around the world. The more I find beauty and truth in other people, other places, and other faiths–the more beauty I find in our tradition—everything expands—and because of this, the Mormon experience in some ways, becomes more valuable to me and more interesting as well.I have been reading a lot of Catholic writers lately, and here are two quotes that have stuck in my head:

“Leaving the order would mean killing everything I want to liberate, not destroy” –Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (Jesuit priest)

“Suddenly there is a point where religion becomes laughable. Then you decide that you are nevertheless religious.” – Thomas Merton (Trappist monk)

Earlier this summer, John Dehlin and I had the chance to spend the day talking as we wandered our way from downtown to midtown Manhattan. The great conversation was interrupted periodically as we would step inside the beautiful churches that we passed along the way. In each case we would find peace, beauty, and people on their knees praying (during the middle of the day, during the middle of the week). Going back and forth from the kinetic New York streets to the silence of worshipers in the different chapels was a soul expanding experience. I have thought back on that day quite a bit.

Mistakes were made…

Reports of the sesquicentennial anniversary of the Mountain Meadows Massacre have been fascinating, haven’t they? Newspapers far beyond Utah have covered the event, as a quick search of google news will show. Some friends of mine were there, traveling from their Georgia home to join in the Lee family reunion and explore New Harmony and the surrounding area. I can hardly wait to talk with them about the trip.

Me, I have merely read from afar. I began with news articles, followed by the comments to those articles, and then visited blogs and bulletin boards to see what people had to say. Of course, you probably know what they said; comments ranged from praise for the church’s apology to questions of whether there was any apology at all. Both apologies and beauty are in the eye of the beholder, it seems.

Then today a bulletin board pointed me to this AP News story, in which the church spokesperson noted “We don’t use the word ‘apology.’ We used ‘profound regret.’” Ah, so close, and yet so far.

There’s a distinct similarity between this quasi-almost-apology and the typical political pseudo-apology. Both come at it from a perspective that “mistakes were made (but not by me…..)”. Sure, we’d all like to see a church that claims to be directed by God to display better-than-human foibles, but is that expecting too much? People are people, even when they believe they are on God’s errand.

Meanwhile, the devout and the lapsed and the inbetweeners will interpret Elder Eyring’s statement in ways that confirm their beliefs. And the world will go on spinning and orbiting, until the next powerful institution or person sees that mistakes are most easily almost apologized for in the passive voice.

Sometimes, it IS a Mormon thing

My friend Peggy Rogers used to have a statement in her online sig: “It’s not a Mormon thing, it’s a human thing.” In many cases, I agree with her. Those of us who have ambivalent relationships with the church often slap a “Mormon” label on our challenges with the church. Usually, those challenges aren’t Mormon, but just human - people doing what people do, but the people happen to be Mormon. On a recent thread at the New Order Mormons board on the topic of getting along in a newly-mixed marriage, one of the participants called us on it. The problems and challenges of remaining in a loving respectful marriage to a believing LDS after a loss of faith were dismissed as just the problems and challenges of any mixed-faith marriage.

I’ve never been in a mixed-faith marriage between a Catholic and a Jew, or a Hindu and a Muslim, or an evangelical Protestant and a Buddhist, but I have been in two different mixed-faith marriages: once as a believing LDS to a never-Mormon husband, and later as an unbelieving LDS to a faithful LDS husband. Having experienced LDS mixed-marriage from both sides, I feel qualified to say that sometimes, it IS a Mormon thing.

The pressure of an unbelieving spouse on a faithful LDS can not be underestimated. The pinnacle of religious achievement in the LDS church is temple marriage. When I was a convert married to a non-member, the lack of a temple marriage was a giant thorn in our relationship. In the beginning I was hopeful he would see the light. As time went on, and our relationship deteriorated, the persistent lack of the magic wand - a temple marriage - magnified in my mind our already very serious problems.

Over ten years later, the shoe was on the other foot. I had the magic wand, and even a real Prince Charming, who was better in every possible way from the toad I had married the first time. But I didn’t believe in magic any more. My therapist, bless her, didn’t seem to understand that going to another church was not as simple as just going to another church! That’s a very Mormon thing - that it makes a difference which church you go to. One mainstream Protestant flavor isn’t as good as any other. In fact, they’re all wrong - it says so right in JS-H.

Garments, the Word of Wisdom, tithing, taking callings, baptizing the children, what to tell the children, what to tell the relatives, what is going to happen to my eternal marriage - these are all, to a greater or lesser extent, Mormon things. Pretending that it’s no different than what any other mixed-faith marriage has to deal with doesn’t make these Mormon things go away.

The one thing that is universal in resolving these issues, or at least learning to live with them, is communication. Judgmentalism, contempt, the cold shoulder, lines in the sand, ultimatums, tears, scripture bashing and pleas to authority usually aren’t effective. If you want it to work, keep talking. And then, listen.

Sunstone-inspired music

I wasn’t able to attend John Dehlin’s Sunstone workshop in Salt Lake this year, but when he offered to provide the audio I took the opportunity to see what I missed. They covered a lot of information that is worth hearing, and if you haven’t listened yet I think it’d be worth your time.

Since I’ve read and heard most of Dehlin’s work before, it was most helpful for me to hear people talking candidly and quite happily about the challenges facing unorthodox Mormons. I know we can read an endless stream of blog entries about just such topics, and I do, but it somehow seems less real to me out here on the internet where we can hide behind our keyboards and screen names. Maybe one day I’ll be secure enough in my confusion to attend a Sunstone workshop in person, but until then it is comforting to know that at least some of you already can.

John also played a couple of songs during his presentation, reminding me how much music has helped me understand my own meandering journey from orthodoxy. Feeling inspired by his musical interludes, I decided to share one song that I suspect a lot of us can relate to. Hope you enjoy it.

For the Best
by Straylight Run
[» You can listen to the song here.]

And it takes more time than I’ve ever had,
drains the life from me, makes me want to forget.
As young as I was, I felt older back then,
more disciplined, stronger and certain.
But I was scared to death of eternity.
I was saved by grace, but destroyed by naivety.
And I lied to myself and said it was for the best.

And now faith is replaced with a logic so cold,
I’ve disregarded what I was now that I’m older.
And I know much more than I did back then,
but the more I learn, the more I can’t understand.
And I’ve become content with this life that I lead,
where I think* too much and don’t believe in much of anything.
And I lie to myself, and say it’s for the best.

We’re moving forward but holding ourselves back,
and we’re waiting on something that will never come.
(And I lie to myself, and say it’s for the best)

* I changed the lyric from “drink too much,” which I don’t, to “think too much,” which I certainly do. If you’re drunk while reading this perhaps you’ll want to sing the original lyric…

The Church I Want to Belong to and the Church I’m a Member Of

One of the ways I make the church work for me is by visualizing the church I want to be a part of. In the church I want to be a part of, worship is uplifting. The music is always good (because I pick the music.) The talks are Jesus-focused and if they’re not, they’re at least entertaining or I have a good book to read. In the church I want to be a part of, I spend my Sunday hours in the company of good people who love each other. Our hearts are turned in the same direction. We are accepting of the variety of experiences that inform our attitudes and beliefs. We want to build the Kingdom of God together.

In the church I actually belong to, some of this stuff matches my hopes and some of it doesn’t. The music is usually good, but not always. Sometimes, you’ve just got to give the people what they want and sing “I Believe in Christ,” though we usually do that when I’m out of town. The talks pretty much always meet my expectations, in that they’re good and I listen or they’re not and I read something. Though the good people do love each other, we sometimes don’t like each other very much. Our hearts are turned in the same direction, but we aren’t very accepting of others’ differing experiences. We want to build the Kingdom of God together, but we aren’t exactly sure how.

Today was mostly spent in the church I’m in, not the church I want. But I was the one not liking people very much. I was the one not accepting of others’ experiences. I was the one not quite sure how to build the Kingdom with my fellow Saints.

Icon or Punchline?

This weekend Second City Touring Company made it to my corner of Georgia. The comedy troupe that gave us such greats as John Candy and Stephen Colbert spent Saturday night in little ol’ Statesboro. They performed classic skits from the past and poked fun at current events as well. It was a great evening of laughs.

The curious thing happened at the end. Their last act was completely improvised. It began with the actors taking the pose of a letter, and then acting in whatever way suggested by that letter. On Saturday night, the letters “M” and “D” suggested to the cast monkeys or chimps. The way the skit worked, when the moment seemed right one of the cast members watching the others would say “Freeze!” and assume the same pose as the other actor, but take the skit an entirely different direction. It was a riot.

So, what was the curious thing? At what turned out to be the very end of the performance, 5 of the 6 cast members are all huddled together — one inside the huddle and four surrounding him in a circle — and the 6th yells “Freeze!” but then says, “The Mormons!” And then the lights went out; that was the end of the skit.

A group of people huddled together could be many things, but “The Mormons”? It left me wondering whether this actor is/was LDS, or what connections he might have with the church. The huddle was reminiscent of a prayer circle; maybe our comic knew it from Dutcher’s States of Grace, or Big Love, or some other film where the image has appeared prominently. Or, maybe the pose suggested to him the “love-bombing” that sometimes happens with investigators.

At any rate, I was intrigued that this iconic pose was known well enough that in a fast-moving improvisation game, “The Mormons” is what came to the actor’s mind. I also wondered what the audience’s laughter represented. Honestly, I have a hard time believing that the typical person attending that performance knows an LDS prayer circle, even if it is an iconic LDS image in Mormons’ minds. Instead, it seems that “The Mormons” is really a punchline, a funny name given to a weird pose. Maybe it would be different in Salt Lake or Cedar City, but not in this backwater Baptist town.

September Dawn

Brief Background: September Dawn is a film by Christopher Cain about the most horrific event in Mormon history, The Mountain Meadows Massacre. It’s just gone into wide release today.

I don’t like violence in film. I’ve never seen even a single episode of The Sopranos. However, I always loved my buddy Randy’s great summaries of the show. In the same vein, I haven’t seen September Dawn and I’m pretty sure I won’t, but I’ve enjoyed reading the reviews.  The most used adjective is “ham-fisted.”

Insert shameless plug for another John Dehlin Production

John Hamer, the Executive Director of the John Whitmer Historical Association, saw an invited preview of September Dawn in early June. A regular participant in the Mormon Matters panel, he gave the film a solid thumbs down in episode three of the Mormon Matters podcast.

I would love to read what some of you think of the film if you’ve seen it.

Confessions of a Garment-Wearing Malcontent

Exponent II has an interesting post by Caroline called Tales from a Garment Wearer.  As is typical with these every-month-or-so garments-themed blog posts that spring up around the bloggernacle, the comments are fascinating, personal, and diverse.   

I appreciate and respect the degree to which garments bless and comfort the majority of Latter-day Saints.  But my appreciation and respect is of the “outside looking in” variety.  I feel the same about fans of opera, or Lord of the Rings— you can explain why shrieking valkyries, or stout, pointy-eared hobbits are meaningful to you until you are blue in the face… you can enroll me in every opera appreciation class and LOTR fan club known to man… but I just cannot feel it myself.  It just bounces right off of me.  I can only understand your love of garments/opera/LOTR intellectually by comparing it to something that gives me the same feeling.

Continue reading ‘Confessions of a Garment-Wearing Malcontent’

Faith and Doubt

Two years ago, my little boy was splashing around in a hotel pool with my grown-up daughter and her two young children. I turned my back for a few minutes to call my husband from the pool phone. When I turned around, there was a splashing going on and I couldn’t see my son. My daughter was a good ten feet away and had her own children in her arms. I hung up the phone and ran to the side of the pool. He was on his back, his face under water, kicking and flailing. I jumped in the pool, walked over to him, and picked him up. I carried him to the side of the pool where a hotel guest lifted him out and laid him on his side. My son was conscious. His lips were blue. He coughed and spluttered and water came out. People kept handing me towels.

Within a few minutes he was fine. I took him back to our hotel room to get him dressed and dried off, then my husband took him down to my daughter’s room, because he wanted to play video games. I had functioned fine while The Kid was around, but after he left, I broke down. I sobbed for a half hour. For days (months?) afterwards, I would close my eyes and see it again - my beautiful boy, thrashing around in the water. Even now, two years later, I get teary thinking about it.

When terrible things happen, sometimes they come back to us unbidden.

When I lost my faith I went into a serious depression. I would wake up in the morning and think, “Damn,” because I wanted so much to just go to sleep and never wake up. I tried to think of ways I could kill myself that would not affect my family negatively, because I simply knew (I knew) that they would be better off if I was dead. It took me the better part of two years to completely climb out of it, and I still have occasional relapses.

The Thursday evening Sunstone session, “Faith and Doubt”: A Never-Before-Seen Act from The Mormons, brought that awful time back full force. It was horrifying. Two stories grabbed me by the throat. Both were accounts by long-time members who had lost their faith. Both described how they saw taking their lives as a solution to their problems. One talked about driving up to Snowbird and thinking about driving down the canyon road, but neglecting to steer. The other overdosed on sleeping pills. Listening to their stories was like looking into a deep abyss and seeing myself at the bottom, trying to claw my way up.

There was a wonderful positive segment by Terryl Givens at the end, but it was too little, too late. I was very glad when the session was over. The next session I attended was “Using Humor to Negotiate Mormon Culture and Faith.” Cartoons, comics, and Robert Kirby. It was a huge relief.

Many of the people I had lunch with on Friday were quite surprised by my characterization of the “Faith and Doubt” Act as “awful.” But I’ve been there. The stories echoed a terrible time in my life. And I never, ever, want to go back.

Rough Stone Rolling

[Note: I know people usually review books that are new and edgy, but I'm a little behind the times.  Hopefully this will be useful or engaging for some of you weary middle-road travelers, even if it is a year late.]

I’ve always been a bit of a voyeur. Not the perverted sort you might chase from the bushes under your window, mind you, but I’m not ashamed to admit that I love to eavesdrop on conversations people have in public places. I suspect the reality TV boon feeds on society’s collective curiosity by giving us an acceptable outlet for voyeurism, and though I don’t watch much TV these days I certainly understand the appeal.

I’m a harmless enough voyeur, and also a hopeless daydreamer. My wife has a certain look, a sort of amused, patronizing smirk, which she gives me every time I begin a sentence with, “Wouldn’t it be cool if….” I see that look a lot, because I frequently fantasize about the ideal situation. It’s been a hobby since I was a child.

I’m not only talking about big dreams, like wouldn’t it be cool if every dollar we spent was replaced by a dollar and a quarter in our bank account? I also fantasize about obscure things, like wouldn’t it be cool if our shoes tracked our steps and reported statistics and GPS coordinates on a Google maps mashup? Just think—you could look back in life and know that you walked 3.2 miles the day you got your first job, or that you almost crossed paths with your future wife four times before you finally met, or that if you had walked one block further yesterday you would have seen Regis Philbin leaving Coldstone. Regis Philbin!!

For an idealistic voyeur like me, it makes sense to wish for front row seats to crucial and controversial conversations in history. With the right view I’d know for sure if Floyd Landis cheated to win the Tour de France, or whether George Bush is as dishonest as he has lately seemed, or if Paula Abdul is really sober as she publicly claims.

These would be interesting things to know, but if I were able to be a fly on any wall, past or present, I would certainly choose the house of Joseph and Emma Smith. Were their arguments as spectacular as Joseph’s diarists described? Did Emma really push one of her competing wives down a flight of stairs? How many of his 30+ wives did she actually know about? Did Joseph honestly believe he spoke with God?

I’ve just finished reading Rough Stone Rolling by Richard Bushman, a patriarch in New York and obviously faithful Mormon. This 560-page biography of Joseph Smith was a bit of a slog at times, but it added new dimension and intrigue to the man and his religion and I’m glad to have read it. It really made me wish there were a Joseph Smith reality TV show.

The life of our founding prophet is discussed so frequently and blithely at church that he has almost become a caricature—a saintly, jovial man who loved to play stick ball and displayed Christ-like wisdom in every action. In reality, Joseph was a moody, hot-tempered, and arrogant man—who also liked to play stick ball and cared deeply for his friends. In other words he was, unlike the religious caricature we worship, quite human.

In spite of his flaws I came away from the book more convinced than ever that Joseph Smith was a genius. Not simply inspired, he had a phenomenally brilliant mind and rare ability to lead. Like many geniuses, he was dogged by fits of melancholy; like many leaders, he was arrogant and prone to publicly scrutinized folly.

Emma’s relationship with her husband is fascinating to me. She once called him “bigger than Bonaparte,” a quip which he lightly called her “wisest utterance.” She undoubtedly knew him better than anyone else on earth; while offering him comfort in his melancholy she would have heard the insecurities and naked honesty that frequently accompanies depression. There are hints throughout their relationship to so much going on below the surface—letters begging forgiveness for un-described wrongs, loud arguments lasting until three in the morning, and to the end, the sincerest affection one for the other.

Bushman’s book presents a prophet far different from the polished, incomplete version I learned about in seminary, yet certainly Emma’s understanding of the man would be many levels deeper than we can hope to know with even the best book. Wouldn’t it be cool if we knew what was spoken between those two? There is so much to wonder about.

If I had expected to find the Sunday-school version in this book, I would have found a lot to surprise me. Bushman addresses the treasure seeking, multiple first vision accounts, head-in-a-hat translation, criminal charges, and other interesting details from the earlier years of the Church, explaining many criticisms along the way. But the final years of Smith’s life were most interesting to me, culminating in his candidacy for president of the United States, ordination as king, and increasingly deceitful polygamy that would ultimately lead to his murder.

Bushman has said his goal in writing the book was to convince people that learning authentic Church history does not have to lead to apostasy. The evidence doesn’t force you to leave the Church, he said in an interview with John Dehlin, and I admire his determination to pursue an accurate history without destroying faith. Perhaps to achieve that end, Bushman occasionally takes the reader to the edge of a steep ravine but not past the cusp, introducing topics like Zelph the white Lamanite or the Kinderhook plates without really exploring the implications.

So what has been the effect on me of reading a faithful but not faith-promoting biography of my Church’s founder? I’m not entirely sure my reaction has settled into a consistent feeling yet. At various points in the book I thought of Joseph Smith as ambitious, confused, mentally unstable, spiritual, fraudulent, brilliant, despicable, pitiful, and even prophetic. He was far more complex than either the faithful or the faithless seem inclined to believe, and while I don’t think the book convinced me one way or the other, I feel better prepared to leave the decision to faith.

Snooping on your ward members’ political leanings…

I thought others might be interested in checking out local support for Mitt Romney in your own area. You just enter the zipcode, choose his name, and you’ll see a list of everyone in that zipcode who’s donated more than $200 to him (or any other presidential candidate for that matter.) I can’t come up a with a good way to tie this into the middle way, except to say that the political conservatism is one of the things that make it hard for me to feel a real part of my own ward. (We’ve had several campaigns that spilled over into church meetings in the last few years.) My ward covers my entire zipcode and all his contributors are members of my ward. (This leads me to another question– if his only supporters are LDS, how long can he keep tapping them for money?)

Killer Kane

I’d heard good things about the movie New York Doll, but I was unprepared for just how strong a film this is. While in film school, LDS film student Greg Whiteley learns that Arthur “Killer” Kane is in his ward and preparing to play a concert with his fellow New York Dolls. This has been Kane’s dream, and comes after the group split up 30 years ago. During that time, Kane went from stardom and fame to obscurity. In the process he had a religious conversion and lived a humble life, working in the Los Angeles family history library while dreaming for the day when he and the other two remaining members of the Dolls might play together again.

Through the efforts of Morrissey, the group reunited in 2004 to play a concert that exceeded everyone’s expectations. Past hurt had been forgotten, and the band’s music was a triumph.

In case you don’t know Kane’s story, I won’t give away the ending of the film. I will say only that I was deeply touched by the story of this gentle soul. My musical tastes don’t include the style of the Dolls, but this film will be one I watch many times for its beautiful message.

New York Doll is a powerful and moving film. The story of a lost and hurt soul who found a home in Mormonism, Kane longed for the limelight he once knew. Sometimes dreams do come true.

The Peace of Being Nothing Special

I have had the opportunity over the past few years to study the writings of the Trappist monk, Thomas Merton.  From his conversion story in his book “The Seven Story Mountain,” to his later  writings on inter-religious dialogue, specifically his conversations with the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh, It has been amazing to learn about his journey. I reccommend his journals and books to anyone travelling along the “middle way”

It seems to me that I have greater peace and I am closer to God when I am not “trying to be contemplative,” or trying to be anything special, but simply orienting my life fully and completely towards what seems to be required of a man like me at a time like this.” T. Merton Jan 23 1958

Containers for Human Identity

The new Executive Director of the Sunstone Educational Foundation gave me a gift of Krista Tippett’s book “Speaking of Faith.” I haven’t finished the book yet, but I have read some sentences and paragraphs over and over again, savoring the words. Chapter One: “Religions are containers for human identity.” I keep coming back to that sentence. It describes one of the problems I have with finding my place in Mormonism: because I don’t know what kind of Mormon I am, I don’t know what kind of person I am.

Being a believing Mormon framed my life. What I drank, what I did for fun, how I spent my Sundays, what I taught my children, who I slept with (or more accurately, didn’t sleep with) were all behaviors defined by my religious identity. I poured my self into my Mormonism and it contained me. When I lost my faith, I didn’t know who I was any more. I lost my “self” because I had defined myself by the container. When I created a new self-definition based on my non-belief, which had its own constraints and social norms, I had found myself a new container. Now that container doesn’t fit either.

What does the container look like for those taking the Middle Way? Sometimes I feel like my identity changes depending on who I’m with. I have friends on both sides of the fence and I treasure those friends. The social norms of one group are different from the social norms of another. It’s not only that the behaviors differ, the values are different. It would make little sense to recommend to a non-believing friend, “maybe you should pray about it.” It would offend a believer for me to say of Apostle X, “He’s just another clueless old guy.” Either of these statements can seem natural and sensible to me.

Perhaps the new container for my identity doesn’t have solid sides. It shapes itself based on its environment. NOMs are often accused of being inauthentic or disingenuous or lacking integrity. Perhaps it’s because our containers change based on context - not because we’re insincere, but because we are sincere. When we present one way to one group and another way to a different group, it’s because we are sharing authentic aspects of our identity that fit with our current circle. We’re celebrating what we have in common. That’s not insincerity.

Being in a flexible container can make it difficult to define and find our “self.” It’s better, though, than forcing ourselves into a container where we don’t fit.

Sunstone Hires New Executive Director

Sunstone has hired a new executive director.

I, for one, welcome our new super-positive overlord.

Congratulations, John.

Blessed, Honored, Blah, Blah, Blah

My ward had it’s pioneer day sacrament meeting last week. That’s a week earlier than usual. The choir had a song prepared, and our best tenor was leaving town this week. Our best tenor is also the bishop, so he rearranged some things.

With all of the Mormon Matters podcasts I’ve been participating in the over the last month or two, I’ve become enamored of the sound of my own voice. Instead of writing about last week’s Pioneer Day meeting, I recorded my thoughts about it. If you’d like to hear about how it went, here’s the MP3.

Here is the link to the midi file and the full text of the hymn I talk about in the ‘cast.

What do y’all think about Pioneer Day? Anything fun happening with the Utahans tomorrow? I used to think it was really dumb of the Utahns to have a day off and parades for a holiday that nobody else in the country celebrated or cared about. Then I moved to Southeast Louisiana, and suddenly it didn’t seem so dumb. Although I’ll bet nobody flashes their breasts to get cheap plastic beads at Pioneer Day parades, and there’s no king cake season (yum, king cake!) leading up to the Big Day.

Dangerous Home Teaching

I’ve never been very eager about home teaching, but I hadn’t considered it dangerous. Until recently, that is.

The Deseret News reports that a home teachee pistol whipped his home teacher in Provo. Apparently they were arguing - maybe over the beattitudes? - and the teachee pulled out his “large silver revolver” and hit the teacher in the face with it. According to the report, he’s awaiting bond. I’m guessing that he won’t be calling his home teachers for help in posting the $5000.

And it isn’t just the home teachers who can find the assignment dangerous. The recent story from Oregon about the man who allegedly molested a child while he was the family’s home teacher suggests that the person in the white shirt & tie may not necessarily have your best interests at heart. No, the world is a more complicated place than that.

My own experience with home teaching has been much more mundane. As a child, I wasn’t usually very excited when the home teachers came to visit. The strongest memories I have of home teaching as a teen were that one of my companions, Brother Johnston, was a very nice guy who knew my grandpa years ago when they worked together in the mine. Oh, and that one of the families had a Playboy calendar posted conspicuously near the front door. I suppose that some people would consider that a dangerous assignment, but I was a teenage boy, so I counted it a blessing.

A few years ago, the relief society did a lesson for the benefit of the priesthood about what they have learned from home teaching. One sister described how her home teacher was there when she needed him to be. The other described how her home teacher was a slothful servant whose lackadaisacal attitude prevented her from having the priesthood in her home. The odd thing is that they were both served (or not) by me. I saw them the same, treated them the same, and to one I was a shining example while to the other I was unfit to be called a home teacher. Different people have different expectations, don’t they?

I’m not currently home teaching, but we do let home teachers come by on the last day of the month. They are nice people, and it makes them feel better. They seem safe, and I promise not to pistol whip them.

Where Does History End and Myth Begin?

In the latest Mormon Matters podcast, there’s a really excellent discussion about a recent church news release, titled Approaching Mormon History, which was apparently written in response to the increased media attention the church has received in recent months. According to the article, “Some [journalists] have questioned the miraculous aspects of the faith and have inquired as to why Latter-Day Saints continue to believe them as reality and not myth.”

The piece goes on to use various quotes from general authorities, many of them taken directly from the interviews Helen Whitney conducted for her recent PBS documentary, to reaffirm the church’s status as a literalist religion—and essentially assert that literal belief in certain key foundational events is the source of much of the LDS church’s religious power.

For me (and probably many other NOMs and Borderlanders), this topic strikes a sensitive nerve. First, I strongly disagree that religious power—including the ability to transform lives and change behavior—can only come from a literal belief in sacred stories. I was put off by the news release’s dismissive, almost condescending attitude toward a symbolic, non-literal approach to religion. Continue reading ‘Where Does History End and Myth Begin?’

Is Life in the Borderlands Working For You?

The newest Borderlands article is out from Jeff Burton.  It is entitled: “Is Life in the Borderlands Working For You?”

As far as I’m concerned theculturalhall.com, New Order Mormon, and Jeff’s Burton’s “Borderlanders” are all identical.

Anyway, I really enjoy and highly recommend Jeff’s stuff.  In fact, I think Jeff Burton is the High Priest of this space (as long as we’re allowed to jointly annoint Ann Porter as the High Priestess, of course).  :)

Anyway, check it out.   And if you like (or dislike), please let Jeff  know what you think.