The Cultural Hall

Not too long ago a letter was read in our ward from our stake leaders emphasizing a concern about “casualness.” The letter went on to specify dress standards, stressing outward appearance, but not addressing the heart at all. It seems that God has suddenly become very concerned with the style of shoes we wear, facial hair, and the color of shirts men wear to church. What happened to “But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for [the LORD seeth] not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” 1 Samual 16:7 A few months later an announcement was made in Relief Society. Now I’m not sure if this latest announcement was our bishop’s personal addendum to the “increased casualness concern” or also from the stake, but it was suggested that women wear nylons to church. This struck many of us as a strange request, especially with the added to “help the men out”. I don’t know if it occurs to male leaders who request such things, that by emphasizing dress standards for reasons other than self-respect, women are further objectified and demeaned. If men have a difficult time feeling the spirit because some woman has the audacity to bare her legs then perhaps it’s the men who have the problem. I don’t think it’s the woman.

Not able to pass up on an opportunity to make a joke about the nylon announcement–joking helps me cope, I found a movie photo from “The Graduate” of Anne Bancroft as Mrs. Robinson seducing Dustin Hoffman’s character. She is putting on her nylons in the scene and has her leg up in a classic pose. Well in my spoof, I wrote, …don’t forget to wear your nylons to church… or something like that. I sent it to a few of my closest friends. I noticed that nylons are generational. Few young women even own them. Do they make a woman more modest? I don’t think so. My husband doesn’t think so either. A man in my ward suggested that he could go down to the local sexually oriented lingerie store and buy “fishnet nylons for all the women in the ward who don’t have them.” He went on to say we could leave a box by the door of the church house, “to help the men out.”

Then more recently another announcement was made in our ward. It was that we shouldn’t bring our cell phones to church with us, and that we shouldn’t spend “too much time” with technology on the Sabbath. Hmmm. perhaps cutting out genealogy done on the internet, writing to your missionaries, family, calling on the phone, What? What happened to “TEACH correct principles and let them govern themselves…:” Joseph Smith. Teaching in generalities helps each of us to grow at our own pace and needs. Emphasizing trivial specifics on dress standards, leaves many feeling bewildered and unsure of their own worth. I had to smile at a recent enrichment night held in the church house. In our service project one less active sister wore short shorts and a spaghetti strap tank top. Was her service any less valued? How would she have felt if someone had said something about the inappropriateness of her dress? Does God value the service of a clean-shaven man any more than that of a man with a beard?

True principles apply to everyone. Each person can individually assess and apply accordingly. But when we stop teaching principles and teach meaningless standards, the Spirit is constrained. I feel a void in my life when leaders micromanage and forget “what matters most.” I go to church craving meaning and truth and come home with a hollowness that isn’t filled. I go to church hungry and come home starving or with nothing but a candy bar for sustenance. I urge a return to teaching principles. Let’s not “sacrifice that which matters most for that which matters least.” Also check this post: beneath the surface

In a discussion with my seminary teaching son about the importance of teaching correct principles and letting people apply that to their own circumstances, he mentioned this quote from Elder Scott: As you seek spiritual knowledge, search for principles. Carefully separate them from the detail used to explain them. Principles are concentrated truth, packaged for application to a wide variety of circumstances. A true principle makes decisions clear even under the most confusing and compelling circumstances. It is worth great effort to organize the truth we gather to simple statements of principle.

Elder Richard G. Scott “Aquiring Spiritual Knowledge”