One aspect of my Mormon heritage that I’m grateful for is that I have many ‘traditional’ skills. I can sew quite well (even making up my own patterns), crochet, knit, can veggies or jam, bake my own bread (from home-ground flour), quilt (both tied and hand-stitched), etc. Through the years I’ve even made my own soap, hooked rugs, embroidered, cross-stitched, made leper bandages, done basic woodworking, etc.
I think many non-LDS are surprised by my ability in these traditional arts/crafts. But for me it seems like second nature to whip up a homemade pie, make cinnamon rolls from scratch, or sew a quick costume for one of my kids’ school activities.
I wonder if the younger generation of LDS women is learning these crafts? They don’t seem to teach them in YW (except for learning how to bake brownies or rice crispie treats) and they have very few, if any, classes in these areas at Enrichment Nights. I suspect that the younger generation of LDS women have never sewn a dress or preserved veggies.
In some ways I mourn the loss of such skills, even as I realize that they are unnecessary in today’s world. What do you think? Do you think that girls (or boys!) should be learning to cook and knit during their teen years? Are we missing out on an important part of our LDS heritage when we don’t teach traditional homemaking skills?
i think that the skills you write about go far beyond lds heritage. i wasn’t raised knowing these skills and i wish i had. i’ve got a friend who was raised like you were, and i’m finding that i wish i knew even 1/2 of what she knows. luckily i have picked up bread baking and a bit of knitting in my adult years. i’m learning to sew from my friend (she’s terribly patient with me).
why should these skills be selective to mormonism? what you are speaking of is just traditional homemaking, skills honed by people of all religions, races and cultures through the ages, in no way, shape or form unique to LDS.
the loss of it within LDS culture is probably just because the culture has been more or less assimilated into modernism.
i’m not mormon anymore, and i didn’t grow up in the church, and i didn’t learn any of those skills as a kid. i got married without knowing how to sew, cook, do handwork, work with wood, change a tire, balance a checkbook, create a budget, work out a menu, or even pump gas. i never learned those things from my parents and i was so immersed in academia at such a young age that i never really had time to learn practical things. now, such things are incredibly important to me, as well as to my husband. together, we’ve learned how to cook, clean, take care of a car, knit (yes, my husband knits and crochets and cooks and cleans and changes and washes cloth diapers - more than me, actually). together we want to learn to use a sewing machine and work with wood. someday we want to have a farm and together we will learn how to work with wool, grow our own vegetables, put food by, maintain a rickety home, take care of animals, and so on and so forth - always side by side, with our children - a boy and girl, both of whom will learn these skills with equal attention. and it has nothing whatsoever to do with religion or the culture of my husband’s heritage. it has to do with self-sufficiency and the protection of knowing how to take care of oneself without relying on technology or the services of some unknown Other.
While there may not be anything inherently Mormon about these skills, I do think that Mormon culture did place greater emphasis on them in the aggregate than many other sub-cultures with a reach into suburban and urban areas, and then preserved them a bit longer than many of those subcultures.
What I suppose I mourn most is not the specific loss of those skills (thogh I do miss them), so much as that there doesn’t seem much that has replaced them in a church context. Perhaps inevitable though as changing societies and the international growth of the church has demanded simplification of sometimes bloated church programs.
Lilith, did you learn these things through the church or from your family? I wasn’t raised in the church, so of course I didn’t learn those crafts there. I am older than you, though, so I did still learn some of them - at home, and at school. I took Home Ec in 7th grade (required for girls, but not boys) and learned how to sew there. I’m not very good at it, and I don’t particularly enjoy it, but if push comes to shove I can make my own curtains. I learned cooking the 2nd semester, and enjoyed it much more, and pursued it on my own for fun (and still do).
Two of my older nieces are very proficient seamstresses. They didn’t learn this from their time in YW, but from their grandmother and mother. I wonder where you learned those skills - was it in church, or at home?
I leanned these skills a little bit from my mother, a little at school home ec, a little in YW and more at homemaking meetings in Relief Society. I miss the emphasis on real skills as opposed to hot glue gun projects and “buy the materials and paint” kind of projects done the last 15 or so years in Relief Society. We had mini classes where people could take what they were most interested in and continue learning for 4 to 6 months. Now our ward is on twice a year enrichment. I stopped attending homemaking because it was wasted time away from my family. Then they turned it into “enrichment” and cut all homemaking skills out of it. Now they have cut it to twice a year, which was no loss because they had already made it worthless.
Sure we can organize ourselves into “interest groups,” but I am not the outgoing kind who can or will do that sort of thing. So, to me, what used to be Releif Society has become sex segregated Sunday School. SSSS for short.
I do think that those skills have declined. Alas summed up the state of things now quite well– glue guns and paint. I grew up in Cache Valley and the annual county fair used to be bursting with embroidered projects, quilts, sewing projects etc. There are still a few, but nothing compared to when I was a teenager and participating myself. I certainly don’t think that anyone should feel guilty about not wanting to learn any of those crafts– but I am bothered that we have substituted a lot of junk for them. As for Ann’s question, yes, we did learn them at church. I’m not sure if that was a church program, or just my ward, but in the last three years of primary, we learned to embroider one year, knit one year, and crochet another. Also, I’m old enough to remember the RS bazaar and RS work days. Women would spend a lot of time together making things for the bazaar at the work days. We had an elderly woman from Belgium in our ward who did amazing embroidery, and she helped us girls make some funky embroidered belts in the 70s. We also learned to make hand-dipped chocolates in Mutual, from another elderly woman in the ward. That’s another thing I lament– I don’t think that we have nearly as much mixing of ages anymore in the church.
Oops forgot the rest of what I meant to say. I lived in the midwest for 8 years, and I think that many of those skills are much more alive and well there than they are in Utah.
And it’s a bit ironic that Julie Beck said that Mormon women should be the best homemakers (in her talk at the last conference) when we don’t really provide anyway of teaching those skills anymore.
well, i’m not a member anymore, but i have to admit that i would have been pretty irritated if they DID bring homemaking back to enrichment and never had comparable classes for the men. just sayin’.
I attended an RS homemaking meeting (back when that’s what it was called) where an RN gave a presentation and clinic on breast self-examination. We had models for practicing after. The YW came too. One of the most practical things I’ve ever been to at church. At the end of the meeting she asked any women who were interested to come get a pamphlet on self-examination for men to check for testicular cancer, because we know the guys would never have a meeting that discussed it.
Not really topical to the post but it came to mind.
I wonder if these skills have been outsourced? Or something like that.
It seems that we (as a society) have less time for these kinds of activities. We work more hours, and we are more likely to buy stuff than to create our own. Our culture also seems to attach a kind of prestige to purchased items over home-made ones. At least, that’s how it seems to me. We value the new iPod, even though the ol’ CD player works just fine. New is sexy and cool, or so The Corporations tell us, and enough of us listen that it carries some clout.
Gotta go now. I’m watching TV and the commercials just came on.
I agree with Alas–I long ago tired of Homemaking/Enrichment because it was all painted wood projects that I then had to give away as gifts because I didn’t need any more dust catchers in my house. LOL!
I learned to sew from my aunt, I learned to crochet from my Gaynote teacher, I learned to embroider from my grandmother, I learned to knit from a family friend and learned canning from my mother (although I now can much more than she did). Already with my mother many of those arts were disappearing. Since then I’ve taken classes to learn to spin, weave and basket weave. Sure, you can get all these things at the store a lot easier than making it yourself, but I like that I CAN do these things if I want. Like Chandelle, I like the idea of self-sufficiency. It also gives me a greater appreciation when I buy something that’s handmade–I know (appreciate) first hand what went into making it. (I think it’s criminal that I can buy a hand-embroidered doily or a basket for $1, when I know first hand that it took some poor Chinese woman hours to make it.)
And it’s sort of a connection to our past, our heritage. I bought some embroidered flour sack towels at a local church bazaar. (Paula’s right, there are a lot more women in the Midwest keeping these arts alive.) I told the boys I bought them because they reminded me of my grandmother, she always had embroidered towels and pillow-cases. When I knit or sew I feel a connection to those women (now gone) who taught me those skills so long ago. The strength of our country comes from the women who would knit socks by firelight and sew their family’s clothing.
And the men who built farmsteads with nothing but a hand-full of tools. My grandfather would make tools–if he didn’t have the right tool he’d make one welding scrap pieces of iron and cast-off parts. That kind of skill and ingenuity is also outsourced. I think teaching shop in school has declined at least as much as has Home Ec. It’s too bad–I think we’re poorer for it.
I have really mixed feelings about this– I used to say that I’d go learn to dry food when the church decided that it was my husband’s religious duty to learn to change the oil at church. I hate enrichment night and haven’t gone for years. I think that the breast exam idea is great, but still not sure it’s something that we need to do for church? The old RS work meetings served a purpose. They were making things that they could sell to earn money to run their programs, and aid people in need. Now Enrichment Night really has no good connection to the purpose of RS.
My concern is that many young wives and mothers I know can barely cook, let alone sew on a button. I know many of them work, but they’ve gone over completely to fast food and have very few basic homemaking skills. Crocheting would be way down the list of things they need to learn to keep a house and take care of a family.
My little visiting companion and I made shepherd’s pies in disposable containers for our visiting ladies for Christmas and gave them some new hot pads and a quick “Merry Christmas!” which everybody just loved. But we’d divided the cooking parts, I did the meat and vegetables and she did the mashed potatoes. They were wonderful, but she said that’s only the third time she’s made mashed potatoes. She’s been married, I think, at least seven years and has two kids.
What I hear from the younger girls is resentment at even being asked to cook for their families or clean. My Sarah was taught to keep her house clean and she did make meals for Nick–I’m pretty sure she’s made mashed potatoes countless times, but she resented it. Part of that I understand and agree with; if both parents are working, there should be give and take.
But I don’t think it’s good for families to rely on McDonald’s and frozen pizza every day.
i agree completely. i think part of the problem is that people are so isolated even within the family. children don’t work alongside their parents anymore. every time my little boy hops up on a chair bursting out of himself with excitement at being allowed to help make the bread, i remind myself how important it is that our children grow up constantly involved in household tasks from the youngest age. how can we expect them to learn these things if they don’t a) see us do it, and b) be encouraged to participate?
that wasn’t even remotely grammatically correct. sorry.
Ummmm. Don’t we have Nordstrom? Aren’t there grocery stores and bakeries? Those skills were necessities now they’re hobbies.
Yes, time marches on. Some of those once necessities now hobbies are real arts, though, and they’re at real risk of dying out. Outside the Mormon sphere entirely, for example, the number of women who know how to make traditional Irish knits is dwindling. Younger women (and men) aren’t interested in learning.
I do think it is important to teach people how to live on “less.” The ironic thing is this is a global issue - I can remember making mittens and hats for my children out of old sweaters (the sleeve bottoms made the mittens, the hats were made out of sweater bottoms). A sweater purchased for 50 cents or a dollar made a wonderful hat and mitten set. Old blankets were turned into pajamas, etc.
But now, with cheap labor from other parts of the world, and the right amount of waiting, I can BUY a pair of mittens for a dollar or two, and a hat for the same, and NO TIME has been demanded of me for the “making.”
Yet why are things so cheap? Because somewhere, in another part of the world, some woman or child (most likely) is working for subsistence wages, often in cruel circumstances.
Canning and preserving food is another matter. I can remember canning 1,000 jars of food, but who wants to do that now when twice a year I can purchase canned food 4/$1.00?
So the issues are different. Homemaking is different. I made plenty of mashed potatoes in my time, but I’m just as happy to microwave some little round new potatoes now, and put some melted butter on them - easier, cleaner by far. Plus those prepackaged mashed potatoes found next to the sliced meats taste pretty darn close to home-cooked . . .
Again, the issues are different. If we’re going to teach homemaking skills, which skills are necessary for today’s world? There was a time when homemaking took up SO MUCH time there wasn’t time for anything else.
So what do we teach our young men and women?
It’s funny, when I was growing up in the eighties and nineties, my mom was one of the rare mom’s in the church who worked, and I felt such shame about that. Granted, she was a total workaholic and wasn’t doing it for a lot of laudable reasons, but every time I went to a friends house and saw their mom quilting or cooking or something, I felt so embarrassed. Somehow, and it must have just been because my own mom was such an extreme example of neglecting home and family, I got it in my head that I couldn’t consider myself a good mormon woman unless I knew how to bake and quilt and can.
Now I relish the homemaking arts, they’ve even created a profession for me for the last seven years, and most of my lds friends regularly shake their head and roll their eyes at me and tell me how crazy I am. I have friends who have deluxe glamorous brand new from the builder kitchens that are only ever used to heat up frozen food. It’s kind of shocking to me how far the pendulum has swung just within my own generation.
I agree completely with Elizabeth, these issues are global issues. Teaching basic sewing and repair and cooking skills contribute to a better world. Sure, when you can buy socks for 10/$5, who wants to spend time darning? But being able to fix a split seam instead of throwing out a pair of pants is a completely practical skill that will save money and save landfill space.
Sure, it isn’t practical to do everything yourself anymore thanks to modern conveniences. But if you don’t know how to do anything, how will you know where that line between practical repair and impractical effort is?
Elizabeth, you made me look at this from a completely different perspective. Thank you. It does seem like it’s more a women’s issue; is there an equivalent in manly work that doesn’t involve the slaughter of small animals?
C Biden,
I personally believe that our young men and women should be taught side by side basic sewing skills (enough to mend a seam, a hem, sew a button), basic cooking skills, basic cleaning skills, basic car maintenance skills, basic yard skills, basic woodworking, use of simple tools, basic child care skills, basic budgeting skills, basic investment skills.
In today’s world, in true partnership of relationship, regarding these and other activities the responsibilities will bounce back and forth from one partner to the other.
Is this the egalitarian ideal like the first wave feminists dreamed of? Perhaps. But in the end, this balance of responsibilities and knowledge of “how-to” is once again economy-driven. No one can say who will have the job that brings home the insurance benefits; it is more and more unlikely that both partners will have that luxury. No one can say who will be watching the children while one or the other partner gets a higher degree.
The important thing (to me) is to not remember the past too romantically. I lived it; it was not romantic. Life was what it was, with its attendant challenges, scraping by, and rewards. Today needs to be faced fearlessly. Today has its own challenges, more than enough scraping by, and yes - perhaps the same rewards of challenges met, relationships strengthened, families nourished.
But to cling to the old model, especially the old model of gender roles in terms of who does what, is simply not workable given today’s economic realities. Whatever homemaking skills are taught need to be taught to both women and men, so that both can respect the one who performs and shares those tasks for the benefit of all.
IMO.
I think it’s great that the church has an enrichment program. I lament that I can’t afford to take time off of work to attend mine, but I do see it as an excellent place to cement connections with other women that can lead to sincere and supportive friendships, whether or not the activity is practical or tremendously useful. I’m with most of you who can pass on the dust collector junkie crafts, but I think it would be fun to learn some of the soon to be lost art forms in the company of interesting and diverse women. One day when I can afford to take those nights off of work, I’m going to try to check out some of those activities with an open mind. Incidentally, I have my former gay roommate to thank for adding reams of sophistication to my culinary skills. Yay for the gays!
ITA Julie, I love the Enrichment program as well. It’s one of those things that varies greatly ward to ward, but in mine we have all kinds of workshops where we learn real, useful skills. We’ve learned about basic cooking, sewing, furniture refinishing, organization, budgeting, drywall repair, tiling, and much more. It’s rare that we have a “crafty” activity where we make dust catchers. The big quarterly activities tend to be more social/fun or spiritual, but the smaller workshops are almost all useful.
Back to the original point of the post - I agree that fewer and fewer of these skills are being learned. I think a big part of it is that fewer and fewer women are able to be full time homemakers. When you’re working outside the home and raising a family, you don’t have time to grow your own vegetables and can them.
Thank you, all, for your comments. I clocked out of the discussion over the holidays and just now returned to find your astute comments! Sorry for dropping the ball and thanks for carrying it for me!
I’ve thought a lot about where I learned my homemaking skills and I’m still not sure if they came from home or church. It’s like the two are so entwined in my mind that I can’t remember where I learned most of these things originally. I can remember embroidering in Merrie Miss (I recently found my horrendously ugly sampler), but I have no recollection of when I first sat at a sewing machine or first knitted. When I was young my Mom not only made handsewn items for church bazaars but she also had a home-based business doing so. That’s probably where I learned a lot of my skills. But Mom didn’t garden or can and I do, so where did I get my penchant for these? Church maybe–in thinking about food storage? Mom also always uses a pattern for anything she creates. Me, I innovate as I go along (example: I crocheted some mittens for myself sans pattern as I traveled over the holidays–it took just abt 2 hours/mitten).
I suspect that much of my “craftiness” comes from my personality. I am curious and I like making things myself. I see a dress in a store and realize that I can make it myself–maybe even better than the one on the rack. I see this trait in my kids, too, especially my young daughter.
But back to thinking about church. I love the old RS Homemaking manuals. Some of the stuff is laughable, but I’ve found a lot of good domestic info in them. Basic things like sewing baby blankets and making muffin mixes and such. I’ve got a wide collection of these books from the DI and I think they are treasures. I used them extensively when my kids were little and I was a SAHM and doing things like making my own cloth diapers. I Also have older LDS books like Daryl Hoole’s _Art of Homemaking_ and I’ve read them from cover to cover. Do I sound crazy? I’m not one to romanticize housework, but when I was younger I took a lot of pride in doing the domestic stuff well.
I never liked the glue gun stuff at Homemaking. I am not much into trendy kitschy crafts. I don’t think it’s much of a loss that that’s gone from the church program. But I think it’s sad that older generations of LDS homemakers no longer teach/share their homemaking skills with younger women. When I was a YW leader I found that the girls enjoyed the traditional crafts–we did sewing and baking and they got quite a kick out of it (it was way better than another paint-your-fingernails activity). They also loved using powertools (me too)!
I think that today, homemaking skills have expanded way beyond the traditional doily-making and crotcheting of yesteryear. Those skill have now become hobby or art. On the other hand, acquisition and preparation of healthy, pesticide-free, nutritious food has becomes a serious challenge for anyone. I’ve used cooking and food preservation skills to allow myself and my husband to eat an all-organic diet for less out-of-pocket than most folks eat conventional. The savings goes right into my 401K.
I’m the home-storage specialist for my Utah-based LDS Ward. I am a full-time degreed engineer and have little time for non-value added tasks at home. I have tried to present my sisters with a “triangle” of home storage basics: food in the basement, money in the bank, and emergency kit ready-to-hand. If approached properly, homemaking skills are a great way for men and women to maximize their health and appearance while minimizing budget drain and drudgery.