One aspect of my Mormon heritage that I’m grateful for is that I have many ‘traditional’ skills. I can sew quite well (even making up my own patterns), crochet, knit, can veggies or jam, bake my own bread (from home-ground flour), quilt (both tied and hand-stitched), etc. Through the years I’ve even made my own soap, hooked rugs, embroidered, cross-stitched, made leper bandages, done basic woodworking, etc.
I think many non-LDS are surprised by my ability in these traditional arts/crafts. But for me it seems like second nature to whip up a homemade pie, make cinnamon rolls from scratch, or sew a quick costume for one of my kids’ school activities.
I wonder if the younger generation of LDS women is learning these crafts? They don’t seem to teach them in YW (except for learning how to bake brownies or rice crispie treats) and they have very few, if any, classes in these areas at Enrichment Nights. I suspect that the younger generation of LDS women have never sewn a dress or preserved veggies.
In some ways I mourn the loss of such skills, even as I realize that they are unnecessary in today’s world. What do you think? Do you think that girls (or boys!) should be learning to cook and knit during their teen years? Are we missing out on an important part of our LDS heritage when we don’t teach traditional homemaking skills?
This was originally posted as a comment. I thought it might get more response as a full-blown post.
Guest post by Tim
Several months ago, I came to this site under the greatest anguish. Since that time I have learned far too much. I have very nearly left the church on several occasions and even wrote a letter but never delivered. In the last couple weeks I came to a point where I felt at peace with the church, that I can finally get on with it and not worry any more. In fact I even decided to go ahead and get my recommend renewed. The new scanner model is in effect in January.
Well, after I get it renewed, I felt good about it. I also realized afterward that I did not even care if it was all true or not. Maybe that disqualifies me as a worthy holder of my recommend…
As many of you know, this week starts the new study years in GD class on the BoM and this year also starts the new PH/RS classes on the teachings of Joseph Smith. As I sat in GD class I was so uncomfortable as we discussed the beginnings of the BoM. I felt like I wanted to either blurt out corrections or get up and leave. As I sat down at home today and read through the new ToJS lesson manual I wanted to throw up. I have studied too much lately it seems, because I felt like I was reading utter non-sense as fact after fact was omitted. I was astounded at how awful I felt reading it, like I was doing something terribly wrong in doing so. Only a year ago these same things were the greatest comfort…
Before today, I really thought I was going to make it-ya know? I had some concern about how I would feel with the new material, but had no idea it would be this profound.
So I ask, how does one continue on? How do you manage to keep it up and teach knowing that what you are saying is against your new beliefs (if you are still actively serving, that is)? Or even if you don’t teach, how do you fulfill your callings if your testimony disappears? Or do you?
Over at Various Stages of Mormondom, where I did a nice long guest stint, this week’s theme is Gifts. As with so many short phrases, the topic brought a song to mind. Even though it invokes harvest images, I think it’s very suitable for this time of year.
The song, “All Good Gifts,” is from the ancient musical “Godspell.”
There are a number of versions on YouTube, but either the video is lousy or the tenor is flat (or both!) so I’ll leave you to seek one out yourself. It’s a beautiful song, based on Episcopal Hymn #138 (or so I read on the Stephen Schwartz music site).
ALL GOOD GIFTS
We plow the fields and scatter the good seed on the land..
But it is fed and watered by God’s almighty hand..
He sends us snow in winter, the warmth to swell the grain…
The breezes and the sunshine, and soft refreshing rain…
All good gifts around us
Are sent from Heaven above
So thank the Lord, oh thank the Lord for all his love…
We thank thee then, O Father, for all things bright and good,
The seedtime and the harvest, our life our health our food,
No gifts have we to offer for all thy love imparts
But that which thou desirest, our humble thankful hearts!
All good gifts around us
Are sent from Heaven above..
So thank the Lord, oh thank the Lord for all his love..
Merry Christmas.
I am leaving straight from work today to go to the airport to fly back to California for Christmas. As excited as I am to see my family, Christmas time has taken on a slightly different flavor over the last few years. As my core faith in the church began to erode, so did my faith in the divinity of Jesus. While I still revere him symbolically and do love the stories of his life, my conviction that he was really half human, half divine has dwindled. Or rather I should say I still believe in his partial divinity as much as I believe in my own, which varies significantly from day to day.
It is pretty easy to slip into a black-sheep mode during this time. When so many of my family events involve impromptu testimonies from everyone I love, it is hard to not let the doubt carousel in my head spin out of control. I find myself folding my arms a lot and fantasizing about sinking into couches.
This year I am determined to not let myself feel this way. Or at least try to limit the amount of time I spend feeling apart. I think as outsiders of the faith we spend so much time feeling separate that we are almost unable to let ourselves enjoy the company of our loved ones. Sometimes they do keep us at arms length, but often times we are pushing back just as hard.
Holiday seasons are always dangerous times emotionally. It is near impossible to meet expectations set for us by Hallmark and McDonald’s and even harder to come up against the expectations of a faith abandoned. We all need to let ourselves off the hook a little this year. And you know who was into letting yourself off the hook? Jesus.
It is soon to be the darkest day of the year. Whether things are a bummer now or not, symbolically we all have our long Decembers. This year I will take comfort in knowing that at the end of a long year, and an even longer month I have one day when I can believe that the next year will be better and I can spend it with my family. And that can be Jesus for me this year.
I love you all and I hope you feel love and hope this holiday season.
Mark Brown from BCC came to church in our ward today, and afterward he joined me, Left Field, and The Kid for a mini-Gulf Coast Snacker. We didn’t have gumbo - I’ve been here five years, and haven’t yet learned to make gumbo. Instead, we had a pasta thing with shrimp, lots of lively conversation, and even a spiritual minute or two. And cheesecake!
The next GumboSnacker will be Friday, February 1st. We’ll go to the Krewe of Selene Mardi Gras parade in Slidell and then come to my house and hang out. Maybe we’ll have gumbo this time. Y’all come!
At Mark’s request, here is the recipe for the shrimp pasta thing:
2 T olive oil
1/3 cup chopped onion
2 cloves garlic
12 oz. jar marinated artichoke hearts, drained and cut into quarter-sized pieces
1 can diced tomato (do not drain)
2 lbs. raw shrimp, heads, tails and veins removed (from frozen is fine)
1 12 oz. can evaporated milk
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper (or to taste)
1 cup Parmesan cheese
1 lb. pasta (I used spaghetti; penne would be good, too)
Cook pasta according package directions.
Meanwhile, saute onion in oil over medium heat until almost soft, add garlic. Add artichoke hearts when onion is softened, stir until heated and then add shrimp and cayenne pepper. Cook until shrimp is almost opaque. Add tomatoes, undrained, and evaporated milk. Heat until lightly bubbling; add Parmesan cheese and mix in well.
Toss in bowl with drained pasta. Serve immediately with extra Parmesan cheese and fresh black pepper.
For the last five years, I have been reading and participating in discussions about the church: doctrine, practice and culture. For much of that time, it was pretty intense, and I was really angry. Now, I’ve thoroughly mellowed out.
Apparently, my new Zen Mormonism is just in time for the rest of the English speaking world to start having the kinds of discussions I was having three years ago. The same old arguments about “is the church a cult?” are now playing out on a national stage, thanks to our Good Buddy Mitt and his Evil Twin, Mike. Right and left alike are freaking out about how stupid/cultish/racist/brainwashed/hellbound Mormons are. It’s only been going on for about a week, since Mitt’s speech, but I am well and thoroughly sick of it.
I have my own disagreements with church teachings and doctrine, but nothing is as simplistic as these people are making it, but there’s no room in the discourse for a sensible conversation. As in almost all areas in politics, the extremes define the rhetoric.
Back when some lefty bloggers working for the Edwards campaign wrote about President Bush’s “wingnut Christofascist base,” a guy in my ward spoke from his bully pulpit about how evil Democrats are for oppressing Christians, and how dare they talk about his faith that way? Well, I’ll tell you how they dare: politics is a dirty business, and when you drag your faith into it, it’s only a matter of time before people start pissing on it.
Mormons, welcome to the intersection of politics and religion. Careful where you step.
The comments on my recent post about sex toys have veered into various sexual behaviors, so I thought I’d refocus the conversation here on a new post.
Many of you have expressed the idea that the church has no business inside the bedroom. And that what a couple does behind that door is up to them. But if that’s the case, how does the couple set boundaries for themselves? And what happens when one partner is interested in something that the other isn’t? How do you negotiate this?
So if a couple is interested in using sex toys, I’d bet that most of you wouldn’t find that problematic. Or maybe oral & anal sex are just fine, too. But what about using porn? Or engaging in S&M? Or swinging? Or having sex in public places? Or posting sex videos on the internet? At what point has a couple gone too far? Or is it all okay between consenting adults? Do you think the church should draw some sort of line? Or does the temple recommend question about the law of chastity cover it? Continue reading ‘Drawing the line and/or trying something new (in the bedroom)’
Here’s an analogy for you to consider–
Fundamentalist Mormon : Mormon :: Mormon : Christian
Just as Fundamentalist Mormosn often consider themselves to be the ‘real’ Mormons, Mormons often consider themselves to be the ‘real’ Christians. And yet, both are viewed by the group to which they aspire as outdated, strange, and even oppressive.
Of course, analogies break down. Where does this one fall apart?
A young LDS friend recently invited me to a Passion Party at her home. Passion Parties are like Tupperware Parties except instead of kitchenware, your hostess is selling items like flavored massage oils and vibrators.
I wasn’t too surprised by the invitation–like me, this friend is pretty open in her views about sex. However I found myself uncomfortable at the party. Not because of all the sex talk, but I was uncomfortable with the products themselves. Now let me say that I’m not against sex toys per se. And I was pleased that this company was female-positive, meaning that none of the packaging or advertising had images that were degrading to women (I only wish I could say the same of our local sex shops that I refuse to patronize for that very reason). But my discomfort was because the products were so ‘cutesy’–shaped like little animals and brightly colored like children’s toys.
I feel like sex is something that’s important and adult. And even though it can be quite fun and playful, it seems rather degrading to have glow-in-the-dark rabbits and dolphins and hedgehogs as part of it.
What do you think? Am I just too puritanical to get it? Am I odd in thinking that I don’t want my toys to be confused with those in my kids’ toybox?
Julia Sweeney recently talked on RadioWest with Doug Fabrizio. Her journey away from religious belief began when two LDS missionaries knocked on her door and asked an innocent question: Do you believe that God loves you? Her answer began a fascinating period of self-reflection and self-realization, which she transformed into her one-woman show, “Letting Go of God.”
It is well worth your time if you have entertained questions about faith and belief. The issues apply to religious belief more generally, but several questions phoned in deal with LDS issues in that context. If you read The Cultural Hall, I suspect you’ll find this a very worthwhile interview. You can listen to the podcast version here. Now, stop reading here, download the podcast, and enjoy!
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