Archive for November, 2007

Pre-mission exam?

Published
by
Lillith
on November 28, 2007
in Missions
. 18 Comments

Recently my spouse had to get his prostate examined. His female doctor asked him whether he’d ever had an exam of that particular part of his body before and when he replied that he’d had it done when he was 19, she was quite surprised. He mumbled something about having it as part of a comprehensive physical before he went abroad. She was a bit skeptical but didn’t press the question further.

Later, as he and I discussed this we wondered if missionaries still get the p-exam pre-mission? If so, does anyone know why this is required when prostate problems are rarely found in 19 year-olds?

I’m also curious if anyone knows what the pre-mission physical exam entails for women? Do they have to have a pelvic exam and pap smear?

UPDATE: I should’ve said (but wrote too hastily) that I know prostate exams were required back in the late ’80s to  early 90’s.  I remember many jokes among my male friends about the indignity of the ‘turn and cough’ procedure.  I was wondering if the reason for this was truly because of concern for prostate health or if it might have had anything to do with a check for homosexual activity?  I’m not at all sure, so I was hoping that y’all might know…

Using the priesthood

Published
by
ungewiss
on November 26, 2007
in Belief, Inspiration, LDS, Parenting, Priesthood and children
. 12 Comments

In the next room there is a sleeping two-month-old baby, who, in spite of his tiny size, was able to instigate quite a hefty discussion last week.  The time had come to bless our son in church, and my wife was understandably wary of giving a confirmed skeptic like me the microphone in front of her friends and family.

Like many conversations about our religion, this one started awkwardly enough.  I assured her I felt perfectly able to fulfill the cultural tradition of blessing my son; behaviorally I am a model of Mormon behavior, certainly “worthy” to perform the task.  My wife objected, saying that since I no longer believe in the priesthood it wouldn’t be right to have me pretending to use it.  I could understand her worry, and I imagine many of you might agree with her reasoning.

We talked for a few minutes about it before I realized that in all the discussions we’ve had about our religion, I had failed to make one crucial point clear:  I do believe that God interacts with his children.  I believe he occasionally gives to each of us greater words, understanding, insights, or strength than we are capable of achieving on our own.  I even believe that he uses the LDS version of priesthood as a tool to deliver these gifts to his children.  But it is obviously not God’s only method for doing so, and his use of the priesthood to communicate with Mormons is far from the black-and-white proof of the restoration that many Mormons believe it is.

When I explained this to my wife, a non-traditional but believing member of the Church, she seemed quite relieved that I allow for God’s influence in my life, and she happily agreed that I should bless our son.  I did so yesterday.  The gist of the blessing actually came to my mind at 3:30 yesterday morning—roughly six hours before I should have been relying on the spirit to guide my words.  Perhaps God gives his skeptical children advanced notice. 

After spending the morning rehearsing how I might verbalize the ideas that came to me in the night, I stood in a circle and clumsily stumbled over ideas that should have been simple and beautiful.  I blessed him with optimism in a negative world, with tolerance for other beliefs, with a desire to find truth in his own and other religious traditions, and with the courage to accept and learn from his mistakes.  It didn’t come to me at the instant I spoke it, it wasn’t at all traditional, and I didn’t use any of the blessing clichés, but I have a feeling that God was pleased nonetheless.

Doug Brewster Goes to Heaven

Published
by
Ann
on November 24, 2007
in Mormon
. 1 Comment

By Peggy Rogers

Peggy is a dear friend who passed away Wednesday afternoon. A cultural Mormon, Peggy wrote this story several years ago. I really like it, and I wanted to share it.

Doug Brewster Goes to Heaven

When he thought about his former life (and it wasn’t often) the last thing that Doug Brewster remembered was climbing into his green Pinto, pulling out of the parking lot of Last Chance Tavern, and heading home. Of course he’d had a few beers–it was Friday night, wasn’t it? and his job at the steel mill was dry work. He deserved a little recreation.

Continue reading ‘Doug Brewster Goes to Heaven’

A vasectomy for Christmas?

Published
by
Lillith
on November 23, 2007
in Christmas, Marriage and Sexual
. 20 Comments

The recent furor over at Times and Seasons about family planning has got me thinking about birth control. I’d say that if there’s anything that I know, it’s that birth control is a good thing. I feel fortunate that I live in a time and place when I’ve had the ability to plan each of my pregnancies.

My spouse and I are feeling that we’re definitely done having children so we’re considering a vasectomy for my husband. When I mentioned this a few years ago to my OB/Gyn, he strongly discouraged us, saying that he’d seen way too many couples feel regret afterwards (this, ironically, was in the same conversation where he admitted to me that three of his five children were born when he and his wife went to bed too drunk to remember to use their own BC–sheesh. And no, he’s not my doctor anymore…). My friends who’ve already had their surgeries seem happy it. One told me, “It’s the greatest gift we’ve ever given each other.” So it’s got me thinking that maybe it would be the perfect Christmas present this year?

I’m curious–how many of you (or your partners) have chosen tubal ligations and/or vasectomies? Are you happy with your choice? Did you have any unforeseen complications? Any regrets?

Past & present

Published
by
Lillith
on November 20, 2007
in Marriage, Mormon, Secrets and Sexual
. 17 Comments

I’ve found myself in an uncomfortable situation: a former lover of mine (from nearly two decades ago) is working for the same company as my husband. Their offices are on the same floor. When visiting my spouse at work, I sometimes encounter this other guy (I’ll call him “Dean”).

I really can’t figure out what the appropriate response is when I see Dean. I want to be friendly—he played a pretty significant role in my life. Yet whenever I see him I hear an echo of my bishop telling me that I should never think of this man or our relationship again. Bishop said the slate was “wiped clean” when I repented and it was as if this had never happened.

But it’s not as if this never happened. It did happen and it was important to my development as a sexual person and as the woman who would eventually marry my husband. I have no regrets about my relationship with Dean. At the same time, I’m not at all tempted to resume any intimacy with him.

Continue reading ‘Past & present’

I Don’t Know Much

Published
by
Ann
on November 20, 2007
in Faith, Family, Marriage, Mormon and Women's Issues
. 3 Comments

That title is not just hyperbole. I really don’t know much of anything, except maybe how to spell hyperbole. I gave up saying “I know” about five years ago. I used to think I knew stuff. Now I know(!) better. That’s one thing I do know: how little I know.

So, given that I don’t know much, here are some things I think and believe and hope, with a teeny bit of knowing thrown in where the term is accurate. Continue reading ‘I Don’t Know Much’

What I know

Published
by
Michael Nielsen
on November 19, 2007
in Belief, Christ, Faith, Family, LDS, Marriage, Mormon, Parenting, Raising Children, Women's Issues, children, compassion and conference
. 8 Comments

The discussion surrounding the recent conference talk, Mothers Who Know, was fascinating. I read the Feminist Mormon Housewives and Exponent II conversations and other blog and bulletin board discussions, as well as the comments on the articles posted at the Deseret News and the Tribune, and found that I couldn’t help but react, sometimes in agreement, and sometimes in disagreement. Later I read What Women Know, which focuses on a broadened conceptualization of women’s many roles in life, and I found myself thinking again about the women and men in my life who have made a difference. If I have amounted to anything in life, it is largely because of the things I have learned from others. Whether from women or from men, I most value the things I have learned through nurturance and compassion. Hierarchy, commandments, and guilt have proven poor teachers in my case.

Continue reading ‘What I know’

The Unseen Life part 2 (Celebrate Your Wilderness)

Published
by
Russell
on November 16, 2007
in Mormon
. 3 Comments

 Below is a quote from John O’Donohue, he is a philosopher, poet and resigned Catholic priest. I think it has interesting parallels to how we all approach our own relationship with the Church.  And also how we approach our relationships with spouses, family, and friends in regard to the Church.

“Solitude is the sense of space as nourishing. What happens with solitude is that people equate it with loneliness, which frightens them. But I don’t know a good friendship or relationship in which there was not long periods of solitude. There is a way in which we treat our relationships almost as a colonial expedition: we want to colonize the space, all the territory between, until there is no wilderness left. Most couples who have deadened in each others presence have colonized their space this way. They have domesticated each other beyond recognition.

I think it is more interesting to be with somebody who still has his or her genuine wilderness. Upon seeing that in the other person, you promise yourself: One thing I will never do is try to domesticate her wilderness. Because the authenticity of her difference and the purity of her danger and the depth of her affection are all being secretly nourished by that wilderness.”

Celebrate your Wilderness!

Religion Can Reduce Cheating

Published
by
Michael Nielsen
on November 13, 2007
in Science and religion
. 4 Comments

This isn’t a Mormon-specific post, but I thought y’all might be interested in this post from my more academic blog. It describes research a colleague and I did that found people who were exposed to religious words, either by sorting them in a “scrambled sentence” task (akin to an anagram) or by flashing the words briefly on a screen (so that they were perceived subliminally), were less likely to cheat subsequently.

Now, back to your regularly-scheduled Mo discussions….

Mind of a Five-Year Old

Published
by
Michael Nielsen
on November 11, 2007
in Belief and children
. 4 Comments

Sacrament meeting today was the primary program. It contained the usual ingredients — the child who seems to swallow the microphone, the Sunbeams who are too shy to sing, and so on. I’ve seen it dozens of times before, but it is always cute, so I went to sacrament meeting this morning wondering what would make me smile this time. Of course, my 4 yr-old played a bit of peek-a-boo with me while he was on the stand, crouching down so I couldn’t see him, and then popping up with a big smile on his face. That was fun.

But his 5 yr-old friend who sat with us before the program began said something that made me smile. During the sacrament service, she whispers to me, “I’m thinking about Jesus.” “That’s nice,” I reply. After a 3 or 4-second pause, she continues by telling me the many things she likes about Shrek. Then, not missing a beat, she tells me about the holy ghost.

I love kids! :-)

Uninterested

Published
by
Ann
on November 7, 2007
in Mormon
. 27 Comments

I blow hot and cold on any number of things.  Earlier this year I really enjoyed reading feminist web sites, but then that got old.  I was really gung ho about dieting for the first couple of months in 2007, but I lost interest in that too.  Lately, I’ve found my passion for my paid work to be waning, though my occasional trips to the office will fan those flames and I’ll get excited about it again, at least for a while.

Right now, I’m not particularly interested in Mormon stuff.  I’ve been reading and writing about Mormon stuff on the internet since about 2000 or so, and I don’t think there are many Mormon issues that I haven’t heard discussed at least once.  Multiple first vision accounts.  MIH.  Helen Mar Kimball.  Post-Manifesto plural marriage.  Treasure guardians.  ZZZZZZZZZ.

I think my interest has waned at least in part because my engagement has been so scaled back.  Mormon Matters was a huge recent catalyst for my continued excitement about Mormon stuff, but it’s pretty much on hiatus and maybe gone for good.  All that’s left are the blogs, the boards, and Real Life church.  Only Real Life church brings any obligation to participate with it, and I’m able to blow that off quite easily when I’m out of town for a week (as I am now).

What keeps your interest up in Mormon stuff?  Anger?  Curiousity?

Seeds of Peace (or my prayer for the DAMU, myself and all of us)

Published
by
admin
on November 6, 2007
in Faith, compassion, humility and peace
. 1 Comment

“In the depths of our consciousness, we have both the seeds of compassion and the seeds of violence. We become aware that our mind is like a garden that contains all kinds of seeds: seeds of understanding, seeds of forgiveness, seeds of mindfulness, and also seeds of ignorance, fear and hatred. We realize that, at any given moment, we can behave with either violence or compassion, depending on the strength of these seeds within us. Continue reading ‘Seeds of Peace (or my prayer for the DAMU, myself and all of us)’

The Dangers of “Truth”

Published
by
admin
on November 6, 2007
in Faith, religion, testimony and truth
. 3 Comments

“The daily wars that occur within our thoughts and within our families have everything to do with the wars fought between peoples and nations throughout the world. The conviction that we know the truth and that those who do not share our beliefs are wrong has caused a lot of harm. When we believe something to be the absolute truth, we have become caught in our own views. If we believe, for instance, that Buddhism is the only way to happiness, we may be practicing a kind of violence by discriminating against and excluding those who follow other spiritual paths.

When we are caught in our views, we are not seeing and understanding in accord with reality. Being caught in our views can be very dangerous and block the opportunity for us to gain a deeper wisdom.”

From Creating True Peace, by Thich Nhat Hanh (Pages 11-12)