When it appeared on television I’d heard about the 30 Days episode featuring an LDS woman, Katie, living with gay men who’d adopted children. I hadn’t been able to see the program, however, until today, when a friend forwarded me the link. It is fascinating to watch, and it seems to me that Spurlock (the man behind the 30 Days series) has done a fine job presenting a balanced picture of the issue. It is apparent that the gay couple (and their friends) had hoped to change Katie’s mind. They believed that by opening their home and showing that they are good people trying hard to be good parents to four children, their actions would at least soften Katie’s opposition. She remains steadfastly opposed, however, and she describes well how her views are too intertwined with her identity and with her understanding of God and morality to change. The program takes about 43 minutes to watch, and it is well worth your time.
Archive for the 'children' Category
Fathers come in all types. I’m fortunate to have one who is loving and is always there when I need him. Even 40-somethings can use a helpful word from Dad once in a while, y’know.
We Mormons anthropomorphize God, calling him Heavenly Father, and seeing human characteristics in deity. Of course, in doing this we are following the Greeks and others throughout history. People seem to understand God in much the same way we understand each other. Maybe this is one of my problems with God. Continue reading ‘Fathers’
In the next room there is a sleeping two-month-old baby, who, in spite of his tiny size, was able to instigate quite a hefty discussion last week. The time had come to bless our son in church, and my wife was understandably wary of giving a confirmed skeptic like me the microphone in front of her friends and family.
Like many conversations about our religion, this one started awkwardly enough. I assured her I felt perfectly able to fulfill the cultural tradition of blessing my son; behaviorally I am a model of Mormon behavior, certainly “worthy” to perform the task. My wife objected, saying that since I no longer believe in the priesthood it wouldn’t be right to have me pretending to use it. I could understand her worry, and I imagine many of you might agree with her reasoning.
We talked for a few minutes about it before I realized that in all the discussions we’ve had about our religion, I had failed to make one crucial point clear: I do believe that God interacts with his children. I believe he occasionally gives to each of us greater words, understanding, insights, or strength than we are capable of achieving on our own. I even believe that he uses the LDS version of priesthood as a tool to deliver these gifts to his children. But it is obviously not God’s only method for doing so, and his use of the priesthood to communicate with Mormons is far from the black-and-white proof of the restoration that many Mormons believe it is.
When I explained this to my wife, a non-traditional but believing member of the Church, she seemed quite relieved that I allow for God’s influence in my life, and she happily agreed that I should bless our son. I did so yesterday. The gist of the blessing actually came to my mind at 3:30 yesterday morning—roughly six hours before I should have been relying on the spirit to guide my words. Perhaps God gives his skeptical children advanced notice.
After spending the morning rehearsing how I might verbalize the ideas that came to me in the night, I stood in a circle and clumsily stumbled over ideas that should have been simple and beautiful. I blessed him with optimism in a negative world, with tolerance for other beliefs, with a desire to find truth in his own and other religious traditions, and with the courage to accept and learn from his mistakes. It didn’t come to me at the instant I spoke it, it wasn’t at all traditional, and I didn’t use any of the blessing clichés, but I have a feeling that God was pleased nonetheless.
The discussion surrounding the recent conference talk, Mothers Who Know, was fascinating. I read the Feminist Mormon Housewives and Exponent II conversations and other blog and bulletin board discussions, as well as the comments on the articles posted at the Deseret News and the Tribune, and found that I couldn’t help but react, sometimes in agreement, and sometimes in disagreement. Later I read What Women Know, which focuses on a broadened conceptualization of women’s many roles in life, and I found myself thinking again about the women and men in my life who have made a difference. If I have amounted to anything in life, it is largely because of the things I have learned from others. Whether from women or from men, I most value the things I have learned through nurturance and compassion. Hierarchy, commandments, and guilt have proven poor teachers in my case.
Sacrament meeting today was the primary program. It contained the usual ingredients — the child who seems to swallow the microphone, the Sunbeams who are too shy to sing, and so on. I’ve seen it dozens of times before, but it is always cute, so I went to sacrament meeting this morning wondering what would make me smile this time. Of course, my 4 yr-old played a bit of peek-a-boo with me while he was on the stand, crouching down so I couldn’t see him, and then popping up with a big smile on his face. That was fun.
But his 5 yr-old friend who sat with us before the program began said something that made me smile. During the sacrament service, she whispers to me, “I’m thinking about Jesus.” “That’s nice,” I reply. After a 3 or 4-second pause, she continues by telling me the many things she likes about Shrek. Then, not missing a beat, she tells me about the holy ghost.
I love kids! 
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