Archive for the 'Belief' Category

Certitude

Published
by
Michael Nielsen
on August 20, 2008
in Belief and Mormon
. 2 Comments

One of the more interesting things I heard last weekend at the American Psychological Association convention in Boston was this line, “Absolute certainty and evil are actually the same thing,” from a presentation on the belief systems of religious extremists. It struck me as something that many in the Cultural Hall might agree with. Certitude may give people an enhanced sense of meaning, but it reduces the number of alternatives one perceives to be available. The result is increased extremism, both in attitudes and in actions.

When I heard that idea, that absolute certainty and evil are the same thing, I couldn’t help but think of LDS lore. Remember the story about the suggestion that it might be better to make everyone do the right thing, so that all return to God, vs. the alternative that people have choices? Whether or not you believe that those two proposals were actually put forward in a heavenly council, it is an idea worth pondering. Choice is a basic Mormon ideal, and it seems more real to me when we are less certain. Certitude enhances meaning in one’s life, which has certain benefits, of course. But certitude also limits the number of alternatives we see, which impacts our ability to choose among our options.

Continue reading ‘Certitude’

30 Days with Same Sex Marriage

Published
by
Michael Nielsen
on August 7, 2008
in Belief, Current Events, Family, Homosexuality, Marriage, Morality, Parenting, Raising Children, Sexual and children
. 7 Comments

When it appeared on television I’d heard about the 30 Days episode featuring an LDS woman, Katie, living with gay men who’d adopted children. I hadn’t been able to see the program, however, until today, when  a friend forwarded me the link. It is fascinating to watch, and it seems to me that Spurlock (the man behind the 30 Days series) has done a fine job presenting a balanced picture of the issue. It is apparent that the gay couple (and their friends) had hoped to change Katie’s mind. They believed that by opening their home and showing that they are good people trying hard to be good parents to four children, their actions would at least soften Katie’s opposition. She remains steadfastly opposed, however, and she describes well how her views are too intertwined with her identity and with her understanding of God and morality to change. The program takes about 43 minutes to watch, and it is well worth your time.

What’s in it for me?

Published
by
Ann
on June 23, 2008
in Belief, Bloggernacle, Mormon, Social and friendship
. 1 Comment

In response to my own post, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” I came up with some interesting ideas of what’s in it for me by not deciding - by sitting on the fence, or in the lawn chair at the crossroads.

By not deciding, I’m maintaining the status quo, which is the path of least resistance and least disruptive to my family.

By sitting on the fence, I get to work both sides of the fence. 

A huge part of this is my (self-perceived) place in the communities on both sides of the Mormon/DAMU divide.   I have a lot of my ego tied up in being Nanna P, DAMU denizen and pontificator.  Not as well known (but still someone people recognize) is Ann the Bloggernacler.  Shallow, but there it is … in both places, I’m “somebody.”  Without them, I just another working stiff. By staying on the fence I can be a welcome (beloved!) participant in both groups, as long as I adhere to the appropriate social norms for each (which is pretty easy to do, because I want to be liked). But because I’m on the fence, I won’t ever be wholly in either group.

And then of course there’s the really big inhibiting factor: fear. Fear of everything. Fear of being duped again. Fear of making the wrong decision. Fear of making a big change, but nothing really changing.

So because I am basically a coward, I’ll probably just stay here in the lawn chair at the crossroads for a while longer. There be dragons down those roads.

(This is probably my public navel-gazing quota for the year. Thanks for the space.)

Book of Mormon Survey

Published
by
admin
on June 19, 2008
in Belief and Mormon
. 0 Comments

I received word of a study of people’s attitudes about the Book of Mormon. Please take a few minutes to add your responses. The survey is available at

http://nelsonseawright.bookofmormon.sgizmo.com/

All sides of the faith spectrum (true believers, inactives, ex-members, etc.) are welcome to participate.

Moving Forward: The LDS Polygamy Question

Published
by
Michael Nielsen
on April 15, 2008
in Apologetics, Belief, Culture, Current Events, Doctrine, History, LDS, Marriage, Mormon, Mormons, Polygamy, general and temple
. 29 Comments

In today’s Salt Lake Tribune is an op-ed piece I wrote about polygamy, copied below. Some people will say I’m overstepping my bounds, and others will say I don’t go far enough. I simply hope it makes people think about the church’s connections to polygamy. The present policy - relying on the Associated Press and other news organizations to clarify who is and who is not Mormon - seems bound to fail, as the public doesn’t consult the AP Style Guide when they talk about such things.

Continue reading ‘Moving Forward: The LDS Polygamy Question’

Explaining Accidents

Published
by
Michael Nielsen
on April 11, 2008
in Belief, Death and general
. 2 Comments

When I moved 15 years ago to this small corner of Georgia, Bill was one of the first people I met. He greeted me with a broad smile and a twinkle in his eye, and there was never a moment that I doubted he genuinely cared about me. Some people have that gift.

My next memory of him is when I gave my first talk in Sacrament meeting. Our branch met in a tightly-packed “phase 1″ building, so I had plenty of opportunity for eye contact. His are the eyes I remember best from that day. As I gave my talk, I quickly learned that I could count on him for feedback that told me that I was being heard. Really heard. He smiled, nodded his head, and then took time afterwards to discuss my talk and to welcome me again to the branch.

A few days ago he had an accident at home, and now he is gone. The viewing was this evening; the funeral tomorrow. I will miss him and his smile. There have been days when I missed church, whether because I was out of town or just not in the mood, or I didn’t want to sit through three hours with lighting that can trigger my migraines. On those days, I may not have missed the lesson I disagreed with, heterodox guy that I am, but I certainly missed Bill and his smile.

While at the viewing, a friend tried to make sense of his death. She believes that the accident was God’s way of “bringing Bill home”. Another friend suggested that his wife, who died a few months ago, needed him. Maybe the universe works that way, with a God that intervenes, causing accidents that take lives when our “time is up”. Maybe, but I’m more inclined to think deaths like Bill’s happen for reasons other than divine intervention. Accidents happen, and the laws of physics cause trauma to our bodies. Life is fragile that way.

We look for answers, for reasons to explain the events in our lives. We seek those answers when it comes to explaining death as well. Whichever answer we arrive at, we find comfort in it. If the answer includes God taking care of us and then calling us home, the comfort seems obvious. But it also leaves us to explain why God’s intervention appears unreliable.

If the answer is more like mine, comfort comes in different forms; for me it comes in the sense of connection with humanity through a shared engagement with life. And there is comfort, too, in knowing that the memory of Bill’s smile, and the many good things he did, lives on. My friends and I may disagree over the question of divine intervention, but we agree on our connection to a fellow traveler and to each other. For me, that’s enough.

Tom Lantos and Mormonism

Published
by
Michael Nielsen
on February 27, 2008
in Belief, Current Events, Death, Faith, Family, Mormon, Politics and Spirituality
. 4 Comments

Tom Lantos, a powerful member of the US House of Representatives for many years, died recently. In this report of his funeral I learned he had a significant connection to Mormonism: His wife and daughters, who apparently converted some time ago.
Continue reading ‘Tom Lantos and Mormonism’

Rejection

Published
by
Michael Nielsen
on February 4, 2008
in Belief, Christianity and Family
. 23 Comments

While reading a New Order Mormon discussion recently I came upon a message that made me stop and think for a moment. The discussion concerned how to deal with family members’ rejection when one has decided to leave the church. A writer described her wish to renounce her LDS Church membership, but feared the rejection that would come from her “DNA Mormon” family. One person commented, “Its hard to believe that there are people who love the church more than their family, but maybe instead of love a better way to look at it is they are more afraid of the church than they are their family.” Continue reading ‘Rejection’

A trip to the Jockey outlet

Published
by
ungewiss
on January 11, 2008
in Belief, Marriage, Mormon and garments
. 20 Comments

After a year and a half, my wife has become accustomed to the idea that I am essentially an unbelieving Mormon. Along the way we’ve had some conversations that can only be called unpleasant, but these days I am less frustrated, she is less defensive, and we can talk freely about the Church without anybody crying, cursing, or feeling guilty.

Perhaps the most crucial conversation we had came several months ago. Two days previous, my wife had firmly requested that I stop wearing garments unless I planned to return to the temple. “If you’re wearing them just to appease me,” she said, “I wish you wouldn’t.”

Continue reading ‘A trip to the Jockey outlet’

How Do You Manage?

Published
by
Ann
on December 26, 2007
in Belief, Callings and Surviving Sundays
. 29 Comments

This was originally posted as a comment. I thought it might get more response as a full-blown post.

Guest post by Tim

Several months ago, I came to this site under the greatest anguish. Since that time I have learned far too much. I have very nearly left the church on several occasions and even wrote a letter but never delivered. In the last couple weeks I came to a point where I felt at peace with the church, that I can finally get on with it and not worry any more. In fact I even decided to go ahead and get my recommend renewed. The new scanner model is in effect in January.

Well, after I get it renewed, I felt good about it. I also realized afterward that I did not even care if it was all true or not. Maybe that disqualifies me as a worthy holder of my recommend…

As many of you know, this week starts the new study years in GD class on the BoM and this year also starts the new PH/RS classes on the teachings of Joseph Smith. As I sat in GD class I was so uncomfortable as we discussed the beginnings of the BoM. I felt like I wanted to either blurt out corrections or get up and leave. As I sat down at home today and read through the new ToJS lesson manual I wanted to throw up. I have studied too much lately it seems, because I felt like I was reading utter non-sense as fact after fact was omitted. I was astounded at how awful I felt reading it, like I was doing something terribly wrong in doing so. Only a year ago these same things were the greatest comfort…

Before today, I really thought I was going to make it-ya know? I had some concern about how I would feel with the new material, but had no idea it would be this profound.

So I ask, how does one continue on? How do you manage to keep it up and teach knowing that what you are saying is against your new beliefs (if you are still actively serving, that is)? Or even if you don’t teach, how do you fulfill your callings if your testimony disappears? Or do you?

Julia Sweeney and the Mormon Missionaries

Published
by
Michael Nielsen
on December 5, 2007
in Belief and Faith
. 2 Comments

Julia Sweeney recently talked on RadioWest with Doug Fabrizio. Her journey away from religious belief began when two LDS missionaries knocked on her door and asked an innocent question: Do you believe that God loves you? Her answer began a fascinating period of self-reflection and self-realization, which she transformed into her one-woman show, “Letting Go of God.”

It is well worth your time if you have entertained questions about faith and belief. The issues apply to religious belief more generally, but several questions phoned in deal with LDS issues in that context. If you read The Cultural Hall, I suspect you’ll find this a very worthwhile interview. You can listen to the podcast version here. Now, stop reading here, download the podcast, and enjoy!

Using the priesthood

Published
by
ungewiss
on November 26, 2007
in Belief, Inspiration, LDS, Parenting, Priesthood and children
. 12 Comments

In the next room there is a sleeping two-month-old baby, who, in spite of his tiny size, was able to instigate quite a hefty discussion last week.  The time had come to bless our son in church, and my wife was understandably wary of giving a confirmed skeptic like me the microphone in front of her friends and family.

Like many conversations about our religion, this one started awkwardly enough.  I assured her I felt perfectly able to fulfill the cultural tradition of blessing my son; behaviorally I am a model of Mormon behavior, certainly “worthy” to perform the task.  My wife objected, saying that since I no longer believe in the priesthood it wouldn’t be right to have me pretending to use it.  I could understand her worry, and I imagine many of you might agree with her reasoning.

We talked for a few minutes about it before I realized that in all the discussions we’ve had about our religion, I had failed to make one crucial point clear:  I do believe that God interacts with his children.  I believe he occasionally gives to each of us greater words, understanding, insights, or strength than we are capable of achieving on our own.  I even believe that he uses the LDS version of priesthood as a tool to deliver these gifts to his children.  But it is obviously not God’s only method for doing so, and his use of the priesthood to communicate with Mormons is far from the black-and-white proof of the restoration that many Mormons believe it is.

When I explained this to my wife, a non-traditional but believing member of the Church, she seemed quite relieved that I allow for God’s influence in my life, and she happily agreed that I should bless our son.  I did so yesterday.  The gist of the blessing actually came to my mind at 3:30 yesterday morning—roughly six hours before I should have been relying on the spirit to guide my words.  Perhaps God gives his skeptical children advanced notice. 

After spending the morning rehearsing how I might verbalize the ideas that came to me in the night, I stood in a circle and clumsily stumbled over ideas that should have been simple and beautiful.  I blessed him with optimism in a negative world, with tolerance for other beliefs, with a desire to find truth in his own and other religious traditions, and with the courage to accept and learn from his mistakes.  It didn’t come to me at the instant I spoke it, it wasn’t at all traditional, and I didn’t use any of the blessing clichés, but I have a feeling that God was pleased nonetheless.

What I know

Published
by
Michael Nielsen
on November 19, 2007
in Belief, Christ, Faith, Family, LDS, Marriage, Mormon, Parenting, Raising Children, Women's Issues, children, compassion and conference
. 8 Comments

The discussion surrounding the recent conference talk, Mothers Who Know, was fascinating. I read the Feminist Mormon Housewives and Exponent II conversations and other blog and bulletin board discussions, as well as the comments on the articles posted at the Deseret News and the Tribune, and found that I couldn’t help but react, sometimes in agreement, and sometimes in disagreement. Later I read What Women Know, which focuses on a broadened conceptualization of women’s many roles in life, and I found myself thinking again about the women and men in my life who have made a difference. If I have amounted to anything in life, it is largely because of the things I have learned from others. Whether from women or from men, I most value the things I have learned through nurturance and compassion. Hierarchy, commandments, and guilt have proven poor teachers in my case.

Continue reading ‘What I know’

Mind of a Five-Year Old

Published
by
Michael Nielsen
on November 11, 2007
in Belief and children
. 4 Comments

Sacrament meeting today was the primary program. It contained the usual ingredients — the child who seems to swallow the microphone, the Sunbeams who are too shy to sing, and so on. I’ve seen it dozens of times before, but it is always cute, so I went to sacrament meeting this morning wondering what would make me smile this time. Of course, my 4 yr-old played a bit of peek-a-boo with me while he was on the stand, crouching down so I couldn’t see him, and then popping up with a big smile on his face. That was fun.

But his 5 yr-old friend who sat with us before the program began said something that made me smile. During the sacrament service, she whispers to me, “I’m thinking about Jesus.” “That’s nice,” I reply. After a 3 or 4-second pause, she continues by telling me the many things she likes about Shrek. Then, not missing a beat, she tells me about the holy ghost.

I love kids! :-)

Choosing our beliefs

Published
by
ungewiss
on September 26, 2007
in Belief
. 26 Comments

For years I assumed that people stopped going to church because they found it interfered with their social lives. It’s hard to be a partier, for example, if you awake the next morning feeling guilty for having disobeyed the brethren. And what better way to escape regret than to decide you don’t believe in the precepts that inspire guilt in the first place? It sounds a little silly to me now, but my assumption wasn’t entirely without merit—I worked with a guy who unabashedly proclaimed that he stopped believing in the restored gospel simply because he didn’t like feeling guilty for fishing on Sundays, and a few friends have said the same about drinking coffee and beer.

There are obvious holes in this kind of reasoning, not the least of which is that our disbelief has absolutely no bearing on reality. Magellan’s journey may have encouraged people to reconsider their belief that the world was flat, but it certainly didn’t change the shape of the earth. People who seek the truth must acknowledge that their own beliefs are powerless to change it—that what is true will be true even if not a single person alive believes it to be so. This may not be such a big deal for a lot of people, because I suspect that many of us aren’t seeking truth at all—we’re simply looking for a version of reality that allows us to feel happy, productive, and peaceful.

Continue reading ‘Choosing our beliefs’

The Church I Want to Belong to and the Church I’m a Member Of

Published
by
Ann
on September 2, 2007
in Belief, Mormon and Surviving Sundays
. 6 Comments

One of the ways I make the church work for me is by visualizing the church I want to be a part of. In the church I want to be a part of, worship is uplifting. The music is always good (because I pick the music.) The talks are Jesus-focused and if they’re not, they’re at least entertaining or I have a good book to read. In the church I want to be a part of, I spend my Sunday hours in the company of good people who love each other. Our hearts are turned in the same direction. We are accepting of the variety of experiences that inform our attitudes and beliefs. We want to build the Kingdom of God together.

In the church I actually belong to, some of this stuff matches my hopes and some of it doesn’t. The music is usually good, but not always. Sometimes, you’ve just got to give the people what they want and sing “I Believe in Christ,” though we usually do that when I’m out of town. The talks pretty much always meet my expectations, in that they’re good and I listen or they’re not and I read something. Though the good people do love each other, we sometimes don’t like each other very much. Our hearts are turned in the same direction, but we aren’t very accepting of others’ differing experiences. We want to build the Kingdom of God together, but we aren’t exactly sure how.

Today was mostly spent in the church I’m in, not the church I want. But I was the one not liking people very much. I was the one not accepting of others’ experiences. I was the one not quite sure how to build the Kingdom with my fellow Saints.

Faith and Doubt

Published
by
Ann
on August 17, 2007
in Belief, Mormon and Stories
. 24 Comments

Two years ago, my little boy was splashing around in a hotel pool with my grown-up daughter and her two young children. I turned my back for a few minutes to call my husband from the pool phone. When I turned around, there was a splashing going on and I couldn’t see my son. My daughter was a good ten feet away and had her own children in her arms. I hung up the phone and ran to the side of the pool. He was on his back, his face under water, kicking and flailing. I jumped in the pool, walked over to him, and picked him up. I carried him to the side of the pool where a hotel guest lifted him out and laid him on his side. My son was conscious. His lips were blue. He coughed and spluttered and water came out. People kept handing me towels.

Within a few minutes he was fine. I took him back to our hotel room to get him dressed and dried off, then my husband took him down to my daughter’s room, because he wanted to play video games. I had functioned fine while The Kid was around, but after he left, I broke down. I sobbed for a half hour. For days (months?) afterwards, I would close my eyes and see it again - my beautiful boy, thrashing around in the water. Even now, two years later, I get teary thinking about it.

When terrible things happen, sometimes they come back to us unbidden.

When I lost my faith I went into a serious depression. I would wake up in the morning and think, “Damn,” because I wanted so much to just go to sleep and never wake up. I tried to think of ways I could kill myself that would not affect my family negatively, because I simply knew (I knew) that they would be better off if I was dead. It took me the better part of two years to completely climb out of it, and I still have occasional relapses.

The Thursday evening Sunstone session, “Faith and Doubt”: A Never-Before-Seen Act from The Mormons, brought that awful time back full force. It was horrifying. Two stories grabbed me by the throat. Both were accounts by long-time members who had lost their faith. Both described how they saw taking their lives as a solution to their problems. One talked about driving up to Snowbird and thinking about driving down the canyon road, but neglecting to steer. The other overdosed on sleeping pills. Listening to their stories was like looking into a deep abyss and seeing myself at the bottom, trying to claw my way up.

There was a wonderful positive segment by Terryl Givens at the end, but it was too little, too late. I was very glad when the session was over. The next session I attended was “Using Humor to Negotiate Mormon Culture and Faith.” Cartoons, comics, and Robert Kirby. It was a huge relief.

Many of the people I had lunch with on Friday were quite surprised by my characterization of the “Faith and Doubt” Act as “awful.” But I’ve been there. The stories echoed a terrible time in my life. And I never, ever, want to go back.

Killer Kane

Published
by
Michael Nielsen
on August 5, 2007
in Audio, Belief, Culture, Media, Movies and Stories
. 5 Comments

I’d heard good things about the movie New York Doll, but I was unprepared for just how strong a film this is. While in film school, LDS film student Greg Whiteley learns that Arthur “Killer” Kane is in his ward and preparing to play a concert with his fellow New York Dolls. This has been Kane’s dream, and comes after the group split up 30 years ago. During that time, Kane went from stardom and fame to obscurity. In the process he had a religious conversion and lived a humble life, working in the Los Angeles family history library while dreaming for the day when he and the other two remaining members of the Dolls might play together again.

Through the efforts of Morrissey, the group reunited in 2004 to play a concert that exceeded everyone’s expectations. Past hurt had been forgotten, and the band’s music was a triumph.

In case you don’t know Kane’s story, I won’t give away the ending of the film. I will say only that I was deeply touched by the story of this gentle soul. My musical tastes don’t include the style of the Dolls, but this film will be one I watch many times for its beautiful message.

New York Doll is a powerful and moving film. The story of a lost and hurt soul who found a home in Mormonism, Kane longed for the limelight he once knew. Sometimes dreams do come true.

Where Does History End and Myth Begin?

Published
by
Square Peg
on July 17, 2007
in Belief, Faith, History, Mormon and testimony
. 18 Comments

In the latest Mormon Matters podcast, there’s a really excellent discussion about a recent church news release, titled Approaching Mormon History, which was apparently written in response to the increased media attention the church has received in recent months. According to the article, “Some [journalists] have questioned the miraculous aspects of the faith and have inquired as to why Latter-Day Saints continue to believe them as reality and not myth.”

The piece goes on to use various quotes from general authorities, many of them taken directly from the interviews Helen Whitney conducted for her recent PBS documentary, to reaffirm the church’s status as a literalist religion—and essentially assert that literal belief in certain key foundational events is the source of much of the LDS church’s religious power.

For me (and probably many other NOMs and Borderlanders), this topic strikes a sensitive nerve. First, I strongly disagree that religious power—including the ability to transform lives and change behavior—can only come from a literal belief in sacred stories. I was put off by the news release’s dismissive, almost condescending attitude toward a symbolic, non-literal approach to religion. Continue reading ‘Where Does History End and Myth Begin?’

Connections

Published
by
Michael Nielsen
on May 31, 2007
in Belief, Family, Inspiration and Spirituality
. 3 Comments

A basic element in religion is connection. As I understand it, the root of the word religion traces back to the idea of connection, which people in Western religion often construe as connection with God. Like many who inhabit the cultural hall, I prefer to see it more broadly: spirituality represents connection with the world, with nature, or with humanity.

I was reminded of this when I read a friend’s memoir, published in the new literary journal, Memoir (and). Take a few minutes to read it, and enjoy the sense of spirituality it beautifully expresses.If you’re at all like me, you’ll find yourself reflecting on your connections and the many forms they take. Take a moment or two and, as the hymn suggests, “count your many blessings.” Chances are, your connections are atop that list.

Types of Believers — A Letter from a Philo Prof

Published
by
admin
on May 28, 2007
in Belief, Faith, Philosophy and testimony
. 32 Comments

I received an amazing email the other day from someone who stumbled upon my essay “How to Stay in the Church After Becoming Disaffected“.

It basically describes different types of believers, and I thought CH folks would enjoy. Check it out…

=============

Hi John,

Greeting from a fellow blogger and religious thinker. I have no LDS background or connections. I’m a philosophy prof who specializes in philosophy of religion. I’ve long been interested in Mormonism, and realized, pretty much on my own, back in the early 1990s, that a lot of the evangelical apologetics stuff I’d been exposed to was unfair or otherwise obnoxious. Anyway, I love your podcast - I appreciate your gentle and reasonable manner, your intellectual integrity, and your evident love for your fellow troubled or conflicted Mormons. Some of it resonates with me, I think, because of my own journey.
Continue reading ‘Types of Believers — A Letter from a Philo Prof’