When it appeared on television I’d heard about the 30 Days episode featuring an LDS woman, Katie, living with gay men who’d adopted children. I hadn’t been able to see the program, however, until today, when a friend forwarded me the link. It is fascinating to watch, and it seems to me that Spurlock (the man behind the 30 Days series) has done a fine job presenting a balanced picture of the issue. It is apparent that the gay couple (and their friends) had hoped to change Katie’s mind. They believed that by opening their home and showing that they are good people trying hard to be good parents to four children, their actions would at least soften Katie’s opposition. She remains steadfastly opposed, however, and she describes well how her views are too intertwined with her identity and with her understanding of God and morality to change. The program takes about 43 minutes to watch, and it is well worth your time.
Archive for the 'Sexual' Category
One theme that I hear often in Mormonism concerns morality and its central place in society. Most recently I came across this idea in an op-ed piece in the Salt Lake Tribune. The writer, Lynn Wardle, described his views regarding morality in the context of Elliot Spitzer’s downfall. (I don’t think copyright law allows me cut & paste Wardle’s comments here but you can click on this link to read them at the Trib.)
Continue reading ‘Morality Beyond Sexuality’
Wow, can you imagine what it would be like to control sperm-flow via remote control? This technology is exciting, but scary. What if your parents or bishop got hold of your remote? Or what if your kids found it lying in the bottom of the nightstand drawer and inadvertently flipped the switch? What happens if/when reproduction (for both sexes) becomes just a matter of typing in a password to activate the necessary parts of one’s body?
Me, I’m thrilled that reproductive technology has allowed me to choose when to have my children. But there’s something still a bit too scary about a computer-controlled vasectomy.
Note to our gentle readers and those who read this blog at work: this post is about sexuality and the more explicit portion is after the “continue reading” link….
As a teen I was always confused what the term “petting” and “necking” meant. I knew what “making out” was and after time came to equate making out and necking. But the petting thing was always a bit of a mystery. Some bishops gave rough definitions like “touching any part of your partner’s body that would normally be covered by a bathing suit.” But the variations of touching were mystifying–did it mean touching while clothed? or touching without clothes? And did touching mean just with a hand or did it mean touching in general (as in, if two people were kissing and rubbing the bathing-suit parts of their bodies together were they ‘petting’)?
I suspect the actual definition of petting varied according to the bishop using the term. What he meant might be totally different from what another bishop meant (as an aside–do they still use this same ‘petting’ terminology with teens or is there some more current lingo?). Continue reading ‘Is it worse?’
The comments on my recent post about sex toys have veered into various sexual behaviors, so I thought I’d refocus the conversation here on a new post.
Many of you have expressed the idea that the church has no business inside the bedroom. And that what a couple does behind that door is up to them. But if that’s the case, how does the couple set boundaries for themselves? And what happens when one partner is interested in something that the other isn’t? How do you negotiate this?
So if a couple is interested in using sex toys, I’d bet that most of you wouldn’t find that problematic. Or maybe oral & anal sex are just fine, too. But what about using porn? Or engaging in S&M? Or swinging? Or having sex in public places? Or posting sex videos on the internet? At what point has a couple gone too far? Or is it all okay between consenting adults? Do you think the church should draw some sort of line? Or does the temple recommend question about the law of chastity cover it? Continue reading ‘Drawing the line and/or trying something new (in the bedroom)’
A young LDS friend recently invited me to a Passion Party at her home. Passion Parties are like Tupperware Parties except instead of kitchenware, your hostess is selling items like flavored massage oils and vibrators.
I wasn’t too surprised by the invitation–like me, this friend is pretty open in her views about sex. However I found myself uncomfortable at the party. Not because of all the sex talk, but I was uncomfortable with the products themselves. Now let me say that I’m not against sex toys per se. And I was pleased that this company was female-positive, meaning that none of the packaging or advertising had images that were degrading to women (I only wish I could say the same of our local sex shops that I refuse to patronize for that very reason). But my discomfort was because the products were so ‘cutesy’–shaped like little animals and brightly colored like children’s toys.
I feel like sex is something that’s important and adult. And even though it can be quite fun and playful, it seems rather degrading to have glow-in-the-dark rabbits and dolphins and hedgehogs as part of it.
What do you think? Am I just too puritanical to get it? Am I odd in thinking that I don’t want my toys to be confused with those in my kids’ toybox?
The recent furor over at Times and Seasons about family planning has got me thinking about birth control. I’d say that if there’s anything that I know, it’s that birth control is a good thing. I feel fortunate that I live in a time and place when I’ve had the ability to plan each of my pregnancies.
My spouse and I are feeling that we’re definitely done having children so we’re considering a vasectomy for my husband. When I mentioned this a few years ago to my OB/Gyn, he strongly discouraged us, saying that he’d seen way too many couples feel regret afterwards (this, ironically, was in the same conversation where he admitted to me that three of his five children were born when he and his wife went to bed too drunk to remember to use their own BC–sheesh. And no, he’s not my doctor anymore…). My friends who’ve already had their surgeries seem happy it. One told me, “It’s the greatest gift we’ve ever given each other.” So it’s got me thinking that maybe it would be the perfect Christmas present this year?
I’m curious–how many of you (or your partners) have chosen tubal ligations and/or vasectomies? Are you happy with your choice? Did you have any unforeseen complications? Any regrets?
I’ve found myself in an uncomfortable situation: a former lover of mine (from nearly two decades ago) is working for the same company as my husband. Their offices are on the same floor. When visiting my spouse at work, I sometimes encounter this other guy (I’ll call him “Dean”).
Exponent II has an interesting post by Caroline called Tales from a Garment Wearer. As is typical with these every-month-or-so garments-themed blog posts that spring up around the bloggernacle, the comments are fascinating, personal, and diverse.
I appreciate and respect the degree to which garments bless and comfort the majority of Latter-day Saints. But my appreciation and respect is of the “outside looking in” variety. I feel the same about fans of opera, or Lord of the Rings— you can explain why shrieking valkyries, or stout, pointy-eared hobbits are meaningful to you until you are blue in the face… you can enroll me in every opera appreciation class and LOTR fan club known to man… but I just cannot feel it myself. It just bounces right off of me. I can only understand your love of garments/opera/LOTR intellectually by comparing it to something that gives me the same feeling.
Continue reading ‘Confessions of a Garment-Wearing Malcontent’
Recent Comments